Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “God and Revenge”
Category: Anger
Cowardly Abdication of Pastoral Role
So I will rescue my flock, and they will no longer be abused. I will judge between one animal of the flock and another. -Ezekiel 34:22, NLT Cowardly Abdication of Pastoral Role Sadly, it is rare to find a pastor willing to hold a cheater to account for their abusive behavior. Far more common, you … Continue reading “Cowardly Abdication of Pastoral Role”
Not upset enough!
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her… Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” Hosea 2:2a,c, NIV I lacked the proper anger towards my (now) ex-wife when she admitted to cheating emotionally. Honestly, I did not care at the time. From my perspective, it came across as another way … Continue reading “Not upset enough!”
Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are you at in forgiving him?” “I hope you can … Continue reading “Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused”
Surprise Anger
She should have begged. I was thinking about the time my now ex-wife admitted to her cheating. She was crying crocodile tears over the phone. These were not tears for me but rather manipulative tears. At the end of her cheating admission, she wanted me to know her cheating wasn’t the reason for her divorcing … Continue reading “Surprise Anger”
Grateful for God’s Anger!
In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “Grateful for God’s Anger!”
Cheating is deliberate sin!
People downplay the deliberateness of cheating. All sorts of language is employed to minimize what is truly something very clearly chosen by the cheater… again and again. They might call it “a mistake,” “a cry for help,” or “one night stand.” All of this is minimizing the choices that led to the infidelity plus the sinful … Continue reading “Cheating is deliberate sin!”
Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!”
No call
23 For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, 24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman. -Proverbs 6:23-24, NIV I was furious! My divorce attorney advised me to NOT do anything rash when I revealed I had … Continue reading “No call”
Augustine Quote on Anger
“Hope has two beautiful daughters: Anger and Courage. Anger that things are the way they are. Courage to make them the way they ought to be.” -Augustine. I ran across this quote attributed to Augustine the other day as I was reading about dealing with serial bullies (in Free Us From Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being … Continue reading “Augustine Quote on Anger”