God is a just judge,
And God is angry with the wicked every day.-Psalm 7:11, NKJV
A common false teaching among Christians is one where anger is treated as sinful. This false teaching serves abusers.
Abusers can appeal to this false teaching to manipulate situations and paint their victims as “sinful” for their anger. The question over why they might be angry is never asked because anger is wrong–according to this twisted teaching.
I call this teaching a false teaching as Psalm 7:11 exposes it as such. If God can be angry, then anger in general cannot be sin. In fact, a person like God–i.e. godly–WILL get angry under situations that anger God.
A quote attributed on the internet to Saint Thomas Aquinas says this even more forcefully:
“He who is not angry when there is just cause for anger is immoral. Why? Because anger looks to the good of justice. And if you can live amid injustice without anger, you are immoral as well as unjust.”
Instinctively, I believe we, faithful spouses, know this. When “friends” feign neutrality, they are actually in the category of those Aquinas calls out here as immoral and unjust. This is another reason their “neutrality” is so wounding and disappointing.
On the other hand, we have true friends–hopefully–who share our outrage at the injustices we have suffered at the hands of our Cheaters. Their anger of how we were treated communicates both love to us as well as a commitment to justice so sorely missed in Christian circles around these situations.
Anger is a gift.
I am grateful to serve a God who gets angry over the injustices I endured!
