8 Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT A cheater who is truly repentant is focused on “making it right.” They are engaged in … Continue reading “Wrong focus”
Category: Forgiveness
God and Revenge
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “God and Revenge”
Forgiveness Performance
So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sistersins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3, NIV Judging YOUR forgiveness performance! Some cheaters might cite how they do not think you will forgive them as a reason to abandon you after cheating. In other words, they are not sorry enough to … Continue reading “Forgiveness Performance”
Conditioned on Repentance
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then IF there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3, NLT (Emphasis added) Forgiveness–according to Jesus–is conditioned on repentance of the offender. A faithful spouse seeking to see repentance BEFORE forgiving is not being bitter but rather being biblical. They are obeying Jesus’ own words here in Luke 17:3 as … Continue reading “Conditioned on Repentance”
What is more likely?
32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ -Matthew 18:32-33, NLT What is more likely? Jesus added burdens to the already overburdened victim … Continue reading “What is more likely?”
Ready, Not Forgiven
For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You. -Psalm 86:5, NKJV “God is ready to forgive.” -Diane Langberg, Ph.D. I was on an online event today where Dr. Diane Langberg spoke. She brought this point up about forgiveness as a point about God’s forgiveness. The idea … Continue reading “Ready, Not Forgiven”
Signaling Selfishness Remains
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. -Proverbs 26:11, NLT I was watching a clip from a counselor lately on cheating and reconciliation. Sven Erlandson of Badass Counseling was the person I was specifically watching. He made this great point about cheaters whining about how long faithful spouses are … Continue reading “Signaling Selfishness Remains”
Rebuke them yet?
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading “Rebuke them yet?”
Not friends with ex-wife
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “Not friends with ex-wife”
Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are you at in forgiving him?” “I hope you can … Continue reading “Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused”