As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. -Proverbs 26:11, NLT I was watching a clip from a counselor lately on cheating and reconciliation. Sven Erlandson of Badass Counseling was the person I was specifically watching. He made this great point about cheaters whining about how long faithful spouses are … Continue reading “Signaling Selfishness Remains”
Category: Forgiveness
Rebuke them yet?
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading “Rebuke them yet?”
Not friends with ex-wife
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “Not friends with ex-wife”
Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are you at in forgiving him?” “I hope you can … Continue reading “Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused”
Always Owing You
“I’d forgive her even if she cheated on me,” says Faithful Husband. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” says Cheater Apologist. Some disordered people only view relationships through the lens of power and leverage. Such response tells you everything you need to know about their “kingdom” alliance. They could care less about godliness … Continue reading “Always Owing You”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Two Big Pastoral Errors
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two Big Pastoral Errors”
As Jesus did.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV How forgiving was Jesus to the Pharisees? Jesus understood that some people wanted nothing to do with his forgiveness. They were self-righteous, and in their minds, they needed none of his. This is the usual crowd of cheaters. They often behave like Pharisees. Some are especially … Continue reading “As Jesus did.”
Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!”
Modeling Real Repentance–Nineveh
7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “Modeling Real Repentance–Nineveh”