How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “Not friends with ex-wife”
Category: Forgiveness
Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are you at in forgiving him?” “I hope you can … Continue reading “Forgiveness Over Repentance Focused”
Always Owing You
“I’d forgive her even if she cheated on me,” says Faithful Husband. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” says Cheater Apologist. Some disordered people only view relationships through the lens of power and leverage. Such response tells you everything you need to know about their “kingdom” alliance. They could care less about godliness … Continue reading “Always Owing You”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Two Big Pastoral Errors
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two Big Pastoral Errors”
As Jesus did.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV How forgiving was Jesus to the Pharisees? Jesus understood that some people wanted nothing to do with his forgiveness. They were self-righteous, and in their minds, they needed none of his. This is the usual crowd of cheaters. They often behave like Pharisees. Some are especially … Continue reading “As Jesus did.”
Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “Acknowledgement of Wrongs FIRST!”
Modeling Real Repentance–Nineveh
7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “Modeling Real Repentance–Nineveh”
God, Forgiveness, and Justice
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “God, Forgiveness, and Justice”
Forgiveness and Consequences
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God still … Continue reading “Forgiveness and Consequences”