“‘…if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.’” -Luke 19:8b, NIV A truly repentant Cheater will offer restitution. This is what I see from this famous story about Jesus meeting Zacchaeus. Jesus did not insist on this. The offer was freely offered by Zaccheaus. He had met … Continue reading “No restitution? No real repentance.”
Category: Cheating
Not that clever
Cheaters often overestimate their own cleverness. They think they are getting away with it all. But rather, their words are telling everyone with ears to hear the reality of their sins. How does this work? They level an outrageous accusation towards the faithful spouse. Maybe they say that the faithful spouse is manipulating everyone close … Continue reading “Not that clever”
Stupid Stuff “Christians” Say to Faithful Spouses
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice (and condemnation) come all too freely for faithful spouses. Here a few … Continue reading “Stupid Stuff “Christians” Say to Faithful Spouses”
So. Many. Mistakes.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? -Proverbs 6:27, NIV So many “mistakes!” Cheating does not “just happen” as some might try to characterize it. Rather, cheating is the culmination of a series of bad, sinful choices. The illicit sex is just the final one in that series. It … Continue reading “So. Many. Mistakes.”
Cheater Speak: “I don’t want you to think….”
“I don’t want you to think that I am divorcing you over him (Other Man),” says Cheater. Not only is your cheater leaving you, she is trying to tell you what to think about that action! That takes some real arrogance to go that far. Yet arrogance and pride is one thing cheaters have in … Continue reading “Cheater Speak: “I don’t want you to think….””
PSA: Not about you, faithful spouse!
Public Service Announcement: The cheating is NOT about you, faithful spouse! And it is not about the quality of your marriage either. Marital infidelity flows out of the heart of the one committing the sin (see Mark 7:21-23). It does not come from the victim of the sin OR marriage conditions. Anyone trying to focus … Continue reading “PSA: Not about you, faithful spouse!”
Pretending?
“I can’t keep pretending about our marriage!” cries Cheater. What I find interesting, now, about such a statement is how twisted it is. The Cheater is so self-deceived to think they are being “honest” by breaking their most sacred vows. If anything is “pretending,” it is the Cheater pretending NOT to be off the market … Continue reading “Pretending?”
Communication issue? Hmmm.
The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute, verified ending of the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on … Continue reading “Communication issue? Hmmm.”
Demonic Selfishness
15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. -James 3:15-16, NLT Selfishness as Demonic Few acts are as selfish as cheating. The cheater only sees the immediate gratification they … Continue reading “Demonic Selfishness”
Wrong focus
8 Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT A cheater who is truly repentant is focused on “making it right.” They are engaged in … Continue reading “Wrong focus”