Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatching”
Category: Grief
Harming and then blaming you!
“You made me do this!” cries Cheater. One of the many painful aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they frame their cheating abuse. Some of this cruel individuals will blame the victim while they harm them. They might blame them for choosing to abandon them as if the faithful spouse had a say. … Continue reading “Harming and then blaming you!”
Early Awful Discovery Days
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. -Job 2:12, NIV The early days of infidelity discovery are awful! I want to encourage you if you find yourself in this part of the horror show. It does get better! … Continue reading “Early Awful Discovery Days”
Dear Younger Self
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear Younger Self”
So much grief!
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and 6 my God! -Psalm 42:5-6a, NLT Grief is great with a marriage ending via infidelity. You have all the loses that come with your marriage ending and then loses around the traumas … Continue reading “So much grief!”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Wanting “understanding” is a trap!
16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” -Genesis 2:16-17, NLT Wanting “understanding” is a trap! Obtaining some knowledge is too costly. That is a lesson that can … Continue reading “Wanting “understanding” is a trap!”
Friends behave like friends.
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT A friend behaves like a friend. I know this sounds straight forward, but we need to hear it sometimes when tempted to make excuses for some people. Just because someone claims the title “friend” for themselves … Continue reading “Friends behave like friends.”
False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse”
No Circle Backs
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NLT No Circle Backs People who were hard on me did not apologize once it became known that my (now) ex-wife was cheating. They did not circle back and acknowledge that their perspective might have been overly harsh and … Continue reading “No Circle Backs”