She would never… but she did. No one enjoys learning that they were wrong about someone in a horrible way. The sick feeling of learning that you’ve been played is not one I enjoy, at least. So many of us, faithful spouses, are all too familiar with that feeling, though. We were SO trusting. The … Continue reading “She would never… but she did.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Not Judge-y Enough!
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? -I Corinthians 5:12, NIV An excuse made for passivity in the face of an unrepentant cheater in church is how someone does not want to look “judge-y.” This is such shame-based thinking. As such, this leads to … Continue reading “Not Judge-y Enough!”
Stuck via cheater denial
How many were deceived for a longer period of time because your cheater explicitly denied what he or she was doing? “I would never cheat on you.” “You know me better than that. There isn’t another man [or woman] involved.” “We need to focus on your problems. Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t cheat on … Continue reading “Stuck via cheater denial”
Cannot win with a cheater
Often times, you cannot win with a cheater. They will always choose to treat you like you are the problem. Here’s a recently released country song that talks about that:
Taken for granted
Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18, NLT Cheaters are so quick to forget or devalue what you bring to the marriage. In the discarding phase, they might treat you as worthless. Some might go as far as to claim you bring and … Continue reading “Taken for granted”
Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue.
For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice…. -Psalm 11:7a, NIV Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue, in my opinion. I know many issues in this world are related to the imbalance of justice. Adultery and adultery victims are not the only ones suffering from a world run through with injustice. Yet they are suffering injustices. … Continue reading “Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue.”
A lifestyle of lying
19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. -John 3:19-20, KJV I have a theory about why some cheaters refuse to … Continue reading “A lifestyle of lying”
Then the pieces fit.
Relief. The months of stone-cold or downright cruel responses. Warmth disappearing overnight like a Minnesotan May blizzard. It all started to make sense. I wasn’t imagining things. The Other Man. He existed. Had existed for months! This is one of the strangest and most surreal parts of discovering infidelity. The moment of confirmation is not only … Continue reading “Then the pieces fit.”
Comforting words for faithful spouses
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And that’s right: you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault. Not at all.” You really want to help a faithful spouse? … Continue reading “Comforting words for faithful spouses”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”