When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. -John 8:44b, NLT I hate being lied to. In other words, I don’t like being manipulated because that is what being lied to is about–namely, manipulation. Someone who lies to you is trying to manipulate you. … Continue reading “Hate being lied to”
Category: Sin
In love with darkness
…men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. -John 3:19b-20, NKJV Cheaters do not want their lies exposed. They will go through all sort of contortions to keep control of the narrative where they … Continue reading “In love with darkness”
Hurts SOO much!
Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” -Psalm 42:3, NLT Hurts SOOO much! It is hard to overstate how awful it feels to discover your spouse has been unfaithful to you. The pain is literally debilitating. Basic life functions like … Continue reading “Hurts SOO much!”
Inflated Sense of Entitlement
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Only a cheater could confess to infidelity in one breath and in the other demand that you win their trust back in the other! It is truly a moment in life that is stranger than fiction. Yet I … Continue reading “Inflated Sense of Entitlement”
So many decisions even in the act!
Cheating does not “just happen.” So many deliberated choices are made by cheaters that pave the way to violating their marriage vows. Infidelity is NEVER just one “mistake.” They had to make a series of poor choices. -To have sex with someone not their spouse, they had to first find this individual. -They had to … Continue reading “So many decisions even in the act!”
Split Selves
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT I am convinced some cheaters have so blocked off parts of their lives that they genuinely believe the lies they tell to their partners. They believe God is good with them. Their dark other life–or lives–are … Continue reading “Split Selves”
Make the rules
Cheaters believe they get to make the rules. This is part of the reason they go into a rage when they discover court consequences. The control is no longer theirs. It isn’t a high school break up. Part of “justifying” their sins is making up rules that “excuse” it. These are rules like “we weren’t … Continue reading “Make the rules”
False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse”
You do NOT have to take the lecture!
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do NOT have to take the lecture!”
Still getting demands
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “Still getting demands”