Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse”
Category: Reconciliation
Resurrection Sunday Lessons
“He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying.” -Matthew 28:6, NLT Too often, the story of Easter is misapplied to infidelity situations as to mean God will resurrect your marriage. I think I lived in that world of false hope personally. … Continue reading “Resurrection Sunday Lessons”
Still getting demands
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “Still getting demands”
Ministry of Reconciliation?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Ministry of Reconciliation?”
Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case
Bethel Church of Redding, California is currently embroiled in a leadership scandal. Once their poster child for a restored leader following moral failure, Ben Armstrong (BA), is back in the spotlight for alleged lies and Clergy Sexual Abuse allegations. To Bethel Church’s credit, they have put Ben Armstrong on administrative leave as they investigate these … Continue reading “Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case”
Mailbag: What do you do with this?
Dear DM, What do you do with this? I came here tonight because I am desperate. As I get closer to God I realize that doesn’t guarantee an answer about what I am supposed to do. My husband acts as if we’re fine everything is fine but it’s almost INSANE. What is your problem, “why … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do you do with this?”
Guilt, not shame
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Guilt, not shame”
Philip Yancey Confesses Near Decade Affair
To my great shame, I confess that for eight years I willfully engaged in a sinful affair with a married woman. My conduct defied everything that I believe about marriage. It was also totally inconsistent with my faith and my writings and caused deep pain for her husband and both of our families. -Philip Yancey … Continue reading “Philip Yancey Confesses Near Decade Affair”
A certain pastoral stance
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Issues With “For the Marriage” Pastoral Stance Sometimes, pastors, you cannot both be … Continue reading “A certain pastoral stance”
Kingdom Incompatibility
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Cheaters have declared allegiance to the Kingdom of Darkness by their choices and actions. They speak in the language of their chosen kingdom–i.e. lies–and they choose to walk in darkness instead of light. This is the fundamental … Continue reading “Kingdom Incompatibility”