You Don’t Have To Agree

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Agree”

True Reconciliation

“True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.” -Desmond Tutu Today’s quote … Continue reading “True Reconciliation”

No Friendship With Darkness

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Cor. 6:14, NIV I never understood the push to become friends with one’s ex-spouse following the adulterous end of a marriage. While I get how one might become friends after the adulterous … Continue reading “No Friendship With Darkness”

My Focus Is Souls and Holiness

While I dearly hope some of the tough love counsel I share here saves marriages, I do not see that as my job or calling. I am a pastor, and my calling is to feed the sheep. I am called to soul care. Marriages will not exist in the Heaven (Mt 22:30). But souls will. … Continue reading “My Focus Is Souls and Holiness”

Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” –Ephesians 5:23-24, NIV If you have spent anytime in an evangelical church of any sort, you likely have heard these verses read … Continue reading “Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure”

Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death”

The Great Reconciler False Assumption

Assumption: Divorced Christians have a moral imperative to remain open to remarrying their former spouse regardless of circumstances of the divorce until that former spouse remarries since they are called to emulate God’s character of being the Great Reconciler (II Corinthians 5:18).   False. God is holy and jealous. He is the same in both … Continue reading “The Great Reconciler False Assumption”

Buffet of Bad Options

“‘If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB.   While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many … Continue reading “Buffet of Bad Options”