“I don’t want you to think that I am divorcing you over him (Other Man),” says Cheater. Not only is your cheater leaving you, she is trying to tell you what to think about that action! That takes some real arrogance to go that far. Yet arrogance and pride is one thing cheaters have in … Continue reading “Cheater Speak: “I don’t want you to think….””
Category: Emotional Affair
PSA: Not about you, faithful spouse!
Public Service Announcement: The cheating is NOT about you, faithful spouse! And it is not about the quality of your marriage either. Marital infidelity flows out of the heart of the one committing the sin (see Mark 7:21-23). It does not come from the victim of the sin OR marriage conditions. Anyone trying to focus … Continue reading “PSA: Not about you, faithful spouse!”
Pretending?
“I can’t keep pretending about our marriage!” cries Cheater. What I find interesting, now, about such a statement is how twisted it is. The Cheater is so self-deceived to think they are being “honest” by breaking their most sacred vows. If anything is “pretending,” it is the Cheater pretending NOT to be off the market … Continue reading “Pretending?”
Communication issue? Hmmm.
The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute, verified ending of the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on … Continue reading “Communication issue? Hmmm.”
Wrong focus
8 Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT A cheater who is truly repentant is focused on “making it right.” They are engaged in … Continue reading “Wrong focus”
God and Revenge
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “God and Revenge”
Choosing to choose daily
‘”Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.’” -Matthew 19:6, NLT Today, I was at a conference where the speaker, Steve Backlund, said something about marriage and making decisions. He stated that the marriage vows really say, “I’m going to keep choosing you.” I totally … Continue reading “Choosing to choose daily”
Emotional Affair Admissions
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:28, NLT I am convinced Cheaters will generally admit the “lesser” of their sins when caught. This means in an evangelical Christian world that they will admit an emotional affair before they admit … Continue reading “Emotional Affair Admissions”
Enough to know it is an iceberg of cheating and lies
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), you likely only know a small part of the deception and infidelity. They have been at this deception for a while. What you know now is a fractured partial of the story, and they have demonstrated an unwillingness to clue … Continue reading “Enough to know it is an iceberg of cheating and lies”
Don’t feed their contempt
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Don’t feed their contempt”