21 “For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”
-Mark 7:21-23, NLT
The cheating is NOT about you!
This is what this Scripture reveals. We–faithful spouses–are not part of the affair origins story. Nowhere are our names in how Jesus describes the sin of adultery or sexual immorality.
Adultery comes from the heart of the adulterous spouse. Period.
Somewhere along the way, the cheater allowed themselves permission to give into this sin. Whatever lie that they told themselves is immaterial to the origin of the sin. It still came from within them. So, it has nothing to do with the faithful partner or marriage.
The sooner people realize this basic spiritual truth about sin’s origin, the sooner competent spiritual care can be applied to the situation.
Time is wasted on diagnosing the marriage relationship when that time ought to be spent asking the cheater about the lies they told themselves to make this wicked behavior seem alright to them. That is time better spent. It can lead to real repentance.
When Christians point at the other spouse or the marriage circumstances, they are failing to believe the basic Scripture on the matter. This lack of belief produces awful fruit of condemnation for the faithful spouse and an enabling of the cheater to avoid accountability necessary for true repentance. It is no good.
