Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season…. -Hebrews 11:25, KJV I have some good news and some bad news for faithful spouses. The good news is that cheaters are engaging in a fantasy relationship that fades when reality hits. They are chasing … Continue reading “Cannot compete with the “high””
Category: Sin
Pressuring Your Silence
As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. -Job 13:4, NLT The “friend” who tells you to ignore the cheating is not giving good advice. They also fail to understand how traumatic the experience is. I wonder if such people are embarrassed by being duped by the cheater. That … Continue reading “Pressuring Your Silence”
Great evil
For the land is full of adultery, and it lies under a curse. The land itself is in mourning— its wilderness pastures are dried up. For they all do evil and abuse what power they have. -Jeremiah 23:10,NLT When the cheater is a pastor or “Christian” counselor, it brings another layer of evil to the … Continue reading “Great evil”
Assume too much of you.
“Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him.” -I Samuel 25:25a, NIV Cheaters just assume. They presume. They assume that you will roll over and do their bidding. Cheaters do not think we have a backbone…probably because we … Continue reading “Assume too much of you.”
Financial Abuse Discovery
Infidelity abuse is rarely the only abuse faithful spouses endure from their cheaters. Financial abuse usually is present in these situations as well. Some cheaters leverage their financial power to inflict harm upon their partners. This might come in the form of cutting them off from money needed to cover basic bills, and it might … Continue reading “Financial Abuse Discovery”
Stop Digging!
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. We do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is … Continue reading “Stop Digging!”
Unwise idea
“Why don’t you both take a break from each other?” -Clueless Counselor This is one of the dumbest pieces of advice given to a couple dealing with infidelity. The problems of an infidelity ravaged marriage are not solved by creating more distance and less accountability for the cheater. Both are the last things needed, actually. A break … Continue reading “Unwise idea”
My take on Other Man
Keep to a path far from her [adulteress], do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. -Proverbs 8-10, NIV How do I feel about the affair … Continue reading “My take on Other Man”
Not even partially your fault.
For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. – 2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT You are NOT responsible for your Cheater’s sins. Period. If you are like me, you will encounter all sort of people … Continue reading “Not even partially your fault.”
More hearts
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NIV Just as the wedding day is a family event, the adultery discovery and divorce are felt by the same family as … Continue reading “More hearts”