“I’m so unhappy,” cries Cheater. You do not control how someone thinks or thereby feels. When Cheaters whine about not feeling happy, you can be sure that they are blaming their spouse. The affair is treated as an entitlement because they believe (falsely) they are entitled to whatever makes them “happy.” Happiness is an inside … Continue reading “An inside job”
Category: Sin
Awful religious cheaters!
“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” -I John 4:20, NLT Religious cheaters are the worst. It is bad enough dealing with a cheater. A religious cheater committed … Continue reading “Awful religious cheaters!”
Spiritual Head Failure Nonsense
She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “Spiritual Head Failure Nonsense”
Boasting about “saved marriages”
When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Boasting about “saved marriages””
Signaling Selfishness Remains
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. -Proverbs 26:11, NLT I was watching a clip from a counselor lately on cheating and reconciliation. Sven Erlandson of Badass Counseling was the person I was specifically watching. He made this great point about cheaters whining about how long faithful spouses are … Continue reading “Signaling Selfishness Remains”
Unhappy Excuse
“Why did you cheat?” asks faithful spouse. “You know I’ve been unhappy in our marriage for a while,” says Cheater. Unhappy Excuse Some cheaters may want to make you in charge of what only they can solve–i.e. their inner feelings. They make it sound like you have the power to control their happiness or misery. … Continue reading “Unhappy Excuse”
Understandably Stuck
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV Feeling stuck in staying in a marriage to a cheater is understandable when that cheater is the primary source of finances for your family. I get it. To a lesser degree, I understand how being the lower … Continue reading “Understandably Stuck”
Move on to supportive people
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a less than supportive community of people. Sometimes, even confessing Christians will not accept what … Continue reading “Move on to supportive people”
Football Critical Error and Cheating
Years ago, I remember film sessions after practice or a game playing football. These sessions could be downright brutal. They were exercises in accepting responsibility. The coach would play the tape watching for each misstep or wrong assignment. He would then slow down the film and hit repeat when he caught you doing something you … Continue reading “Football Critical Error and Cheating”
Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!”