Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron…. -I Timothy 4:2, KJV While this verse is really about false teachers leading people astray, I think it applies to cheaters as well. This verse reminds us that not everyone is bothered by morally corrupt behavior. What might trouble our conscience greatly does … Continue reading “So seared off!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Tune in Holy Spirit
15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? -James 2:14-16, NIV Plenty of Christian leaders will tell you that they love you and are praying … Continue reading “Tune in Holy Spirit”
Spiritual Head Failure Nonsense
She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “Spiritual Head Failure Nonsense”
Boasting about “saved marriages”
When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Boasting about “saved marriages””
Signaling Selfishness Remains
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. -Proverbs 26:11, NLT I was watching a clip from a counselor lately on cheating and reconciliation. Sven Erlandson of Badass Counseling was the person I was specifically watching. He made this great point about cheaters whining about how long faithful spouses are … Continue reading “Signaling Selfishness Remains”
Understandably Stuck
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV Feeling stuck in staying in a marriage to a cheater is understandable when that cheater is the primary source of finances for your family. I get it. To a lesser degree, I understand how being the lower … Continue reading “Understandably Stuck”
Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!”
Not upset enough!
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her… Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” Hosea 2:2a,c, NIV I lacked the proper anger towards my (now) ex-wife when she admitted to cheating emotionally. Honestly, I did not care at the time. From my perspective, it came across as another way … Continue reading “Not upset enough!”
Flip the competition
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Flip the competition”
Mismatching
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatching”