“This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will deal with you as you deserve, because you have despised my oath by breaking the covenant.” -Ezekiel 16:59, NIV Where are the pastors calling out cheaters for hating and despising their marriage covenant partners? I find it interesting that Christians are quick to judge the faithful … Continue reading “Called out for despising?!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheater-Speak: “But that’s not why I am divorcing you!”
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But that’s not why I am divorcing you!””
Self-Damage, NOT Self-Care
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:6a, NIV The cheater approaching the affair as “self-care” or something “finally, for ME!” is self-deceived. You cannot sin against the marriage without also sinning against yourself. This is what the Judeo-Christian concept of marriage teaches us. The marriage partners are ONE. An affair certainly is … Continue reading “Self-Damage, NOT Self-Care”
We can…
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “We can…”
An “escape”
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. -Proverbs 6:32, NIV An escape from reality Cheaters are people who choose a fantasy over reality. They pursue and develop deceitful relationships. Like anything built on lies, this escape is not to a good place. This is another reason faithful spouses cannot … Continue reading “An “escape””
So many bad decisions!
For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman. -Proverbs 6:23-24, NIV So many bad decisions! The act of infidelity is often underplayed by cheaters and cheater apologists. They treat … Continue reading “So many bad decisions!”
She would never… but she did.
She would never… but she did. No one enjoys learning that they were wrong about someone in a horrible way. The sick feeling of learning that you’ve been played is not one I enjoy, at least. So many of us, faithful spouses, are all too familiar with that feeling, though. We were SO trusting. The … Continue reading “She would never… but she did.”
Not Judge-y Enough!
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? -I Corinthians 5:12, NIV An excuse made for passivity in the face of an unrepentant cheater in church is how someone does not want to look “judge-y.” This is such shame-based thinking. As such, this leads to … Continue reading “Not Judge-y Enough!”
Stuck via cheater denial
How many were deceived for a longer period of time because your cheater explicitly denied what he or she was doing? “I would never cheat on you.” “You know me better than that. There isn’t another man [or woman] involved.” “We need to focus on your problems. Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t cheat on … Continue reading “Stuck via cheater denial”
Cannot win with a cheater
Often times, you cannot win with a cheater. They will always choose to treat you like you are the problem. Here’s a recently released country song that talks about that: