Dear DM, What do you do with this? I came here tonight because I am desperate. As I get closer to God I realize that doesn’t guarantee an answer about what I am supposed to do. My husband acts as if we’re fine everything is fine but it’s almost INSANE. What is your problem, “why … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do you do with this?”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Warped Sense of Reality Vortex
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Warped Sense of Reality Vortex”
On oversharing
Some people just cannot handle the souls of others well. The conversation where a faithful spouse spills their grief and pain results in a shaming exercise where the Christian listener warns the faithful spouse about bitterness and God’s hatred of divorce. I know I fell into the “oversharing trap” early in my marriage’s dissolution. Too … Continue reading “On oversharing”
NOT a side issue!
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4, NKJV Cheating is NOT a side issue to marriage issues! It cuts to the core of the relationship. In fact, you have no marriage to even consider really as long as one partner is cheating. The cheater has decided to … Continue reading “NOT a side issue!”
PSA: Insisting affair ends is NOT abuse!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair! Someone needs to see this. Cheaters will pull out all stops to make the faithful spouse look like the bad person. Insisting the affair end is a healthy boundary. It is respectful. You are simply refusing to accept ongoing abuse … Continue reading “PSA: Insisting affair ends is NOT abuse!”
An excuse to abuse? No, none.
I am convinced adultery is always abusive. Always. You cannot cheat on a spouse without abusing their trust minimally. Plus, I have yet to discover a story involving adultery where a period of deception did not take place–however, brief. In addition to that, I believe based on my reading of Scripture that adultery is soul … Continue reading “An excuse to abuse? No, none.”
Cheater-speak: “I’m a good Christian.”
Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is. -I John 3:6, NLT “I’m a good Christian,” declares deceived Cheater. Some might make this statement to seek validation from you or others. They are saying it as a test … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m a good Christian.””
Cheater-Speak: “I feel like God is calling me to….”
2 And he said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” Genesis 22:2, KJV Cheaters are engaging in self-deception when they decide God is calling … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I feel like God is calling me to….””
Pro-Tip: Do not engage with “deserving it” fools
A sage trying to work things out with a fool gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. -Proverbs 29:9, THE MESSAGE Arguing Over Why You “Deserved It” This is a wasted argument. It is like talking with someone with your face still bleeding and them asking you what you did to deserve having your … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do not engage with “deserving it” fools”
“Exit Affair” Minimizing Label
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NKJV Does it make it any less sinful to cheat if the marriage is troubled? The correct answer to this is “No.” Adultery is adultery. Sin is sin. Circumstances around the sin do not matter as far as determining if the behavior is sin or not. I see … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” Minimizing Label”