Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18, NLT Cheaters are so quick to forget or devalue what you bring to the marriage. In the discarding phase, they might treat you as worthless. Some might go as far as to claim you bring and … Continue reading “Taken for granted”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue.
For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice…. -Psalm 11:7a, NIV Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue, in my opinion. I know many issues in this world are related to the imbalance of justice. Adultery and adultery victims are not the only ones suffering from a world run through with injustice. Yet they are suffering injustices. … Continue reading “Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue.”
A lifestyle of lying
19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. -John 3:19-20, KJV I have a theory about why some cheaters refuse to … Continue reading “A lifestyle of lying”
Then the pieces fit.
Relief. The months of stone-cold or downright cruel responses. Warmth disappearing overnight like a Minnesotan May blizzard. It all started to make sense. I wasn’t imagining things. The Other Man. He existed. Had existed for months! This is one of the strangest and most surreal parts of discovering infidelity. The moment of confirmation is not only … Continue reading “Then the pieces fit.”
Comforting words for faithful spouses
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And that’s right: you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault. Not at all.” You really want to help a faithful spouse? … Continue reading “Comforting words for faithful spouses”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Scary divorce.
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. -I Timothy 6:10, KJV A popular Christian curriculum for people going through divorce would regularly try to dissuade people from divorcing by pointing out the financial … Continue reading “Scary divorce.”
Hate YOUR narrative
All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. -John 3:20, NLT Cheaters hate YOUR narrative–aka reality. The last thing they want is to lose control of the narrative. They do not want to look bad even though they did some very bad things. … Continue reading “Hate YOUR narrative”
“I just need a break from our marriage.”
“I’m tired of pretending. I just need a break from our marriage,” says Cheater. “So, you want to pretend you aren’t married when you are? That’s not how our marriage vows work,” replies faithful spouse. Cheaters might ask for “a break” as if your marriage is just an extended period of dating. Such statements reinforce … Continue reading ““I just need a break from our marriage.””
Do not go on the ride
To heal, we have to acknowledge the truth. The sad thing is our cheater may never actually do this. They might engage you in an endless battle over getting you to take responsibility for their abuse of you. That argument is one crazy ride. Refuse to take the bait. While helpful, you do not have … Continue reading “Do not go on the ride”