Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Somehow I was wrong?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading “Somehow I was wrong?!”
Okay to admit being “not okay”
Walking in reality is good for our souls. Sometimes, that means admitting that we are “not okay.” But we can still hold hope that eventually we will be well. As we walk with Jesus, we know this is true. AND God can handle us being upset and “not okay” in the present. I love this … Continue reading “Okay to admit being “not okay””
Sucker punch feeling
What just happened? You thought your spouse would never cheat on you. That was until you were faced with indisputable evidence to the contrary. It is a sucker punch to the gut. I think infidelity discovery is one the most disorienting experiences a human can have. The betrayal is soul deep. Depending on how long … Continue reading “Sucker punch feeling”
Cheater-Speak: “If only you would have….”
“If only you would have done everything to bring in money, then I wouldn’t be so miserable.” -Cheater Some Cheaters genuinely believe their spouse is responsible for their feelings, especially their happiness or lack thereof. This is a losing proposition for faithful spouses. We cannot succeed in this rigged game. Humans are responsible for their … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “If only you would have….””
No excuse. Period.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV With the way faithful spouses are handled after adultery discovery, you would think this verse from the Ten Commandments said something different. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” [UNLESS]… …you have a difficult marriage. …you are not getting “enough” sex. …your spouse isn’t connecting with you emotionally like … Continue reading “No excuse. Period.”
Wondering… Do they?
I wonder… …do some Cheaters ever even consider they might be the problem. Of course, the usual course of these things is to externalize the problem. They blame their spouse. Or they might blame the affair partner. Another candidate might be the stresses of work. Cheaters have a long list of things or people to blame … Continue reading “Wondering… Do they?”
Meditating on Psalm 89:14
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. -Psalm 89:14, NIV I believe adultery is affront to the very throne or authority of God. As the Psalmist states here, we see love and faithfulness as linked to the symbol of God’s authority–i.e. His throne. Adultery is the opposite … Continue reading “Meditating on Psalm 89:14”
Divorce discard pain
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Divorce discard pain”
Cannot Repent
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV You cannot repent of sin that is not yours! We are responsible for our own sin, not another’s. … Continue reading “Cannot Repent”