A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation. A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way! I think it is wise to acknowledge this. Something precious was … Continue reading “Could’ve Been SO different!”
Category: Grief
Not just watched, but seen!
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. -Psalm 56:8, NLT A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of jumping on a live online event with Fr. Gregory Boyle. He is a priest whose life work is directed … Continue reading “Not just watched, but seen!”
Envying your Cheater?
Don’t follow after the wicked ones or be jealous of their wealth. Don’t think for a moment they’re better off than you. They and their short-lived success will soon shrivel up and quickly fade away like grass clippings in the hot sun. -Psalm 37:1-2, TPT Much energy can be wasted in cheater envy. Been there. Done … Continue reading “Envying your Cheater?”
Old Emails
“If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep from speaking?” -Job 4:2, NIV Recently, I was doing a search in my email account, and it popped up with results from when I was dealing with my (now) ex-wife. Like Eliphaz to Job here, I had two emails that … Continue reading “Old Emails”
Dreams Die So Others May Rise
And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him [Joseph].” -Genesis 37:35, KJV Giving up the dreams regarding your marriage are tough. I had … Continue reading “Dreams Die So Others May Rise”
Valentine’s Day Mess
Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate! This is one holiday that is tricky for faithful spouses. It is one that can be ruined by cheaters and their cruelty. Don’t let them. Remember: Love is not the enemy! It does exist and is more than lust. Love exists that carries people through difficult times. I … Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Mess”
Mailbag: What do you do with this?
Dear DM, What do you do with this? I came here tonight because I am desperate. As I get closer to God I realize that doesn’t guarantee an answer about what I am supposed to do. My husband acts as if we’re fine everything is fine but it’s almost INSANE. What is your problem, “why … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do you do with this?”
A song trigger
Yesterday, Mrs. and Munchkin were with me at a local restaurant. A country song came on overhead, and I was immediately transported to my first honeymoon. Poignant was the memory. Kind of sad but also happy in the sense that it was a joyous time when the memory was made. This is grief. I am … Continue reading “A song trigger”
On oversharing
Some people just cannot handle the souls of others well. The conversation where a faithful spouse spills their grief and pain results in a shaming exercise where the Christian listener warns the faithful spouse about bitterness and God’s hatred of divorce. I know I fell into the “oversharing trap” early in my marriage’s dissolution. Too … Continue reading “On oversharing”
Allure of Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given about forgiveness for faithful spouses as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses to forgive. I don’t … Continue reading “Allure of Premature Forgiveness”