The obvious loss with the divorce is the end of the marriage. However, we all know this loss is merely the tip of the loss iceberg. If we relied upon our cheater’s income, we loose financial security. We all loose money and material things both to obtain a divorce plus to divide up the marriage … Continue reading “Divorce Grief”
Category: Grief
Fixation on faithful spouse reaction
“A friend of mine is a great example of someone who brought sin into his houseful of kids through his 40-year porn addiction and then had an encounter with God that empowered him to change. …His wife is still playing the role of the punisher, and his children are still distant, regardless of his change … Continue reading “Fixation on faithful spouse reaction”
Sick feeling
When even a cheater spouse announces divorce, the feeling can be devastating. I know that is how I felt when my ex made the announcement about seeing a divorce attorney. The loss of dreams, security, and future are incredible. It is not surprising such news can put a faithful spouse in shock. Shock is a … Continue reading “Sick feeling”
Mismatching
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatching”
Harming and then blaming you!
“You made me do this!” cries Cheater. One of the many painful aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they frame their cheating abuse. Some of this cruel individuals will blame the victim while they harm them. They might blame them for choosing to abandon them as if the faithful spouse had a say. … Continue reading “Harming and then blaming you!”
Early Awful Discovery Days
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. -Job 2:12, NIV The early days of infidelity discovery are awful! I want to encourage you if you find yourself in this part of the horror show. It does get better! … Continue reading “Early Awful Discovery Days”
Dear Younger Self
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear Younger Self”
So much grief!
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and 6 my God! -Psalm 42:5-6a, NLT Grief is great with a marriage ending via infidelity. You have all the loses that come with your marriage ending and then loses around the traumas … Continue reading “So much grief!”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Wanting “understanding” is a trap!
16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” -Genesis 2:16-17, NLT Wanting “understanding” is a trap! Obtaining some knowledge is too costly. That is a lesson that can … Continue reading “Wanting “understanding” is a trap!”