“So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” -2 Corinthians 5:9-10, NIV
“Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” -Proverbs 20:11, NIV
“This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.'” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV
CHARACTER AND ADULTERY
As the first proverb points out, we are known to others by our actions. This is true even with children. Furthermore, we will be judged by those actions on Judgement Day as the Apostle Paul teaches us from 2 Corinthians 5. Each person is accountable for his/her own actions. This means saying he/she drove me to sin will not cut it on Judgement Day. It will be a reckoning concerning what YOU did in the body…not your spouse, kid, mother, father, or anyone else.
Back to the subject of adultery:
Adultery is the culmination of choices leading to the manifestation of a serious lack of character. The sexual violation is not the only act demonstrating a bankrupt character. One cannot cheat without lying. Many might understand that the sexual violation of the marriage union is awful–and it is–but they fail to grasp the destruction that comes from all the supporting lies surrounding the sexual infidelity. I can tell you from personal experience that the lies surrounding the sexual infidelity are far more devastating as they wreck havoc upon one’s sense of safety and reality.
How long was it going on? Is he the only other man? Did she tell me the truth when she said they were just catching up with good friends out on the town? What slander did she tell her “friends” about me to justify cheating?
When divorce becomes the focus as opposed to the character deficiencies of the cheater, the lies are reinforced and the faithful spouse is further damaged. This harms the cheater as well as they are robbed of an opportunity to repent before facing Christ’s Judgment Seat. No one is really served by this approach–except possibly professionals making money off of this situation.
By focusing on anything but the cheater’s character deficiency as revealed by her/his adultery and lies, one reinforces excuses and character formation in the cheater is avoided. Once again, adultery is treated as the minor story or mere marriage symptom as opposed to the serious sin God declares it to be.
This is not godly.
It spells disaster for the soul.