Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.
-Proverbs 12:22, KJV
Along with stories reporting the exposure of Ashley Madison‘s client information–i.e. adultery seekers’ info–I have seen some things cautioning against looking at these lists as well as bemoaning the exposure as destroying marriages. Such reasoning infuriates me!
Marriages without individuals using a website designed to facilitate adultery are not destroyed.
Such reasoning obscures the reality:
Adulterous spouses destroy marriages by their own sinful choices.
The only difference now is that such behavior is now exposed to the light. A faithful spouse can make an informed decision about whether or not to continue in an unsafe relationship with a selfish, adulterous spouse who decided to risk the faithful spouse’s well-being, finances, and health by unilaterally cheating.
True. Some faithful spouses might end a marriage over such sin. God seems to think that is a reasonable response making a provision for it in regards to divorce (e.g. Jer 3:8 and Mt 19:9).
But make no mistake:
The adulterous spouse burned his marriage down around his head by his own choices to be unfaithful!
Sympathy is better placed in a cold-blooded murderer seeking understanding after murdering her parents because now she is an orphan.
As to the “don’t-search-the-list” advice, I have some stern words as well:
This does not protect the faithful spouse from the consequences of the irresponsible, selfish, sinful behavior of his/her spouse. It is advocating sticking-your-head-in-the-sand sort of behavior.
We are talking potential exposure to STDs here folks! And that is just the tip of the awful iceberg known as being cheated upon by one’s spouse.
A true friend does not counsel “ignorance is bliss!”
Ignorance here could result in serious damage to the faithful spouse: physically (e.g. STDs), financially, socially, emotionally, and spiritually. Finally–and most importantly–
In general, it is better to walk in the light than run to the darkness.
Christians are meant to walk in the light, after all (see John 3:19-21).