One of the hardest things to do is leave a Cheater when they hold financial power over you. You married under the premise that you’d share the bills and set up a joint household. “What’s yours is mine.” Then you discover the cheating… Maybe they even hold you in contempt for not bringing in significant … Continue reading “Vulnerability and terror.”
Can be one’s sole decision.
It only takes one to end the marriage. So often this fact is missed in the evangelical church. They teach as if both have a say in the marriage ending. That is simply not always the case. Many have experienced the double trauma of being cheated on and then discarded by the cheater. Without knowing … Continue reading “Can be one’s sole decision.”
Strong Medicine Needed!!
Their mother is a shameless prostitute and became pregnant in a shameful way. She said, ‘I’ll run after other lovers and sell myself to them for food and water, for clothing of wool and linen, and for olive oil and drinks.’ -Hosea 2:5, NLT What if those Christian leaders or therapists had provided strong medicine … Continue reading “Strong Medicine Needed!!”
The REAL problem!
Listen to this catchy new country song by Cam: The temptation is to blame the other person involved with our cheater. It is easier to focus our rage at them as opposed to the real source of our hurt. The cheater. I love the lyrics in this song talking about blaming the Other Woman as … Continue reading “The REAL problem!”
Need Supportive Voices
Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. -Exodus 17:12, NLT We all need an “Aaron” and a “Hur” … Continue reading “Need Supportive Voices”
Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!
Cheated On Support Group Starting Tuesday, May 7th! At Destiny Church, Rochester, MN I have decided that it is time to launch an in-person support group for faithful spouses and their supporters. This support group will start in Rochester (MN), and I will see what response I find from folks. If it goes well, I … Continue reading “Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!”
Skipping over the injustice part
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT I am a firm believer that injustice must first be acknowledged before we can heal from it. This step is often skipped in … Continue reading “Skipping over the injustice part”
Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.”
“I never intended to hurt you,” says Cheater. Did you get this line (or a version of it) from your Cheater? These disordered freaks actually think this makes things better. They say this as a way to get a “pass” of sorts for their nasty, wicked behavior. They are–again–protecting themselves at the cost of caring … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.””
Just Do NOT Engage!
Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. -Proverbs 26:4, NLT If someone is not willing to listen, save your breath. They have made up their mind, and you are best moving on. You do not need to stick your head into that mind-blender. Move on. Let … Continue reading “Just Do NOT Engage!”
Not linear
Grief is not linear and is not rational. I don’t know about you, but I wish this was otherwise about grief. It would be nice to say that when you’ve gone through one task then it is done. But that is NOT how grief works. It doesn’t go through orderly phases in sequence. It isn’t … Continue reading “Not linear”