“You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.”
-Ezekiel 34:4, NLT
What is more harsh or cruel than to blame–i.e. condemn–a faithful spouse for their divorce from their Cheater?!
This is hardly the pastoral thing to do. It ought to be an automatic sign that we are unsafe around such a person. They are not the right pastor for us, if they do this.
Christians who minimize the cheating and turn on your “flaws” are torching trust. Whatever they are… they are not trustworthy or godly in this area for you!
This is especially painful to discover when one is looking to this person for support during this trying time. It is just another of the many betrayals that come with discovering infidelity.
You learn a valuable but painful lesson when a person torches your trust via shifting blame and shame upon you for your Cheater’s actions.
Thankfully, I have discovered it is not all betrayal and cruelty. Sometimes people show up and support you in unexpected ways. Their kindness is truly heart-melting. I am so grateful to those who did that for me!
