Category: Trauma of adultery

Broken Vase Illustration

Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “Broken Vase Illustration”

Take Down That Fear Giant!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. – Proverbs 29:25, NKJV -Are you anxious? -Do you worry about what crazy thing … Continue reading “Take Down That Fear Giant!”

I realized “killing with kindness” is kaput! The couch episode.

When I realized my kindness was not making any difference, I did the rare act of boundary enforcement. I refused to be used one last time. It was over a couch. The one pictured above with Mr. Pickles sprawled over it to be precise. A two piece lounge-like couch that was fantastically comfortable. I was … Continue reading “I realized “killing with kindness” is kaput! The couch episode.”

“Unmet Needs” (Lie) Theory

The “Unmet Needs” Lie Theory This is the lie theory that teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how … Continue reading ““Unmet Needs” (Lie) Theory”

John Piper is wrong on prohibiting divorce following adultery.

Pastor John Piper is a major figure in Reformed, Evangelical Christianity in the United States. He hails from Minnesota. Having heard him preach myself years ago, I would say that he is a very gifted communicator, and I do not doubt his passion for Christ. He strikes me as a man who is sincere about … Continue reading “John Piper is wrong on prohibiting divorce following adultery.”

“I’m concerned.” Others judging faithful spouses.

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”  -Matthew 7:1-2, KJV A common annoyance I encounter–and suspect other faithful spouses encounter as well–are Christians giving their unsolicited assessment of my state of healing. They … Continue reading ““I’m concerned.” Others judging faithful spouses.”

Price for “Support”

Hate evil and love what is good;     turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies     will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “Price for “Support””

Buffet from Hell – A Buffet of Bad Options

“‘If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB. While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many pastors … Continue reading “Buffet from Hell – A Buffet of Bad Options”

Adultery is much bigger a problem than the singular sexual act!

“‘But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person….’”  – Jesus in Matthew 15:18-20a, NIV. While one act of adultery is horrible enough, I suspect … Continue reading “Adultery is much bigger a problem than the singular sexual act!”