“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV I do not see a time limit set on these words. The exemption is there for anyone who has a spouse that engaged in sexually unfaithful behavior. That is what I see in … Continue reading “Divorce free from shame”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Rejected Ones Club
Jesus is “‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’ Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” -Acts 4:11-12, NIV How is Jesus identified by the Apostle Peter on Pentecost? He is The Rejected One. This … Continue reading “Rejected Ones Club”
Affair Partner not a marriage problem?!
“He has nothing to do with our marriage problems. You know that!” -Caught Cheater If your cheater is responding with some version of this, your marriage is over. The cheater is refusing to face the fact that adultery is truly a MAJOR marriage problem. You have nothing to work with here. The cheater is firmly … Continue reading “Affair Partner not a marriage problem?!”
Blind to the wreckage
“I would forgive anything. I want us to stay married,” says desperate faithful spouse. “But you would always hold it over my head,” responds heartless Cheater. The more I think about this sort of response from a cheater, the more I am struck by its cruelty: The Cheater could care less about the cost of … Continue reading “Blind to the wreckage”
Forgiveness or denial?
“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Forgiveness or denial?”
The Physical
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Physical Affair vs Emotional Affair Both are cheating and awful for the faithful spouse. They both cause incredible damage to the to the point of destroying the very … Continue reading “The Physical”
Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Using cheating as manipulation
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Using cheating as manipulation”
Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!
“That might be YOUR truth, but that’s not my truth!” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people perceive them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!”
Loving darkness
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Loving darkness”