“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” -Cheater Whether or not the cheated intended to hurt the faithful spouse does not change the fact that they did! Such a statement from a cheater is more about caring for the cheater than it is about caring for the faithful spouse. The cheater is trying to protect their self-image … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Listen and Pray
So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, NKJV Discovering a spouse has abandoned you and/or cheated upon you is utterly devastating. Sometimes “all” you can do is listen and … Continue reading “Listen and Pray”
Called Good Friday 4 Good Reasons!
“But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.” -Luke 22:53b, NIV Good Friday is good news for all who have experienced times when darkness reigned. What I mean about that is how the Cross speaks to the darkest of evil–namely, the killing of God–and yet also speaks to how that darkness cannot triumph even when it kills … Continue reading “Called Good Friday 4 Good Reasons!”
Ought NOT to be Radical!
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15 Thou shalt not steal. 16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. 17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife…. -Exodus 20:14-17a, KJV Apparently, a pastor taking adultery seriously is controversial! What has this world come to that a pastor insisting on obedience … Continue reading “Ought NOT to be Radical!”
Savior You Are NOT!
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. -John 3:17, KJV Jesus is the only One who is able to save someone spiritually. How well or poorly we respond to discovering infidelity ought never to be construed as causing the cheater … Continue reading “Savior You Are NOT!”
When “good” is not an option
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV What drives me nuts about how some pastors speak of divorce is how they assume a “good” option is left on the table for a faithful spouse. Sadly, following infidelity this just isn’t the case! The faithful … Continue reading “When “good” is not an option”
Like a super suckerpunch to the gut!
“At every street corner you built your lofty shrines and degraded your beauty, spreading your legs with increasing promiscuity to anyone who passed by. … You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband!” -Ezekiel 16:25,32, NIV Nothing really prepares you for that moment of discovery. Nothing. You might have suspected the … Continue reading “Like a super suckerpunch to the gut!”
Divorce Minister: Palm Sunday Reflections
See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. -Zachariah 9:9b, NIV With the kick-off of Holy Week, I was pondering how this season parallels life for faithful spouses and marriages ended via adultery. The wedding day is like Palm Sunday: … Continue reading “Divorce Minister: Palm Sunday Reflections”
SO Self-Righteous!
How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Luke 6:42, … Continue reading “SO Self-Righteous!”
Personal Growth Or Just Blame Acceptance!
And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man. – Mark 7:20-23, KJV, (emphasis mine) When … Continue reading “Personal Growth Or Just Blame Acceptance!”