He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church…. –Ephesians 5:28b-29, NIV PRO TIP: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours, then that is a clear signal that your … Continue reading “Pro Tip: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours…”
Category: Trauma of adultery
On Songs and Scents
This song by Josh Turner came on the radio the other day. Like songs and scents are liable to do, it transported me to another time. It reminded me of my first honeymoon. You see, we drove to our honeymoon location while this and other songs from this new-at-the-time album from Josh Turner played. It … Continue reading “On Songs and Scents”
DM Processing Recent RNS Tullian Tchividjian Interview
On Thursday, an interview was published between Tullian Tchividjian and Jonathan Merritt on the Religious News Service. The interview is entitled, “Billy Graham’s grandson on his near suicide and whether he’s planning a comeback.” To begin, I want to be clear that I am glad TT did not die by suicide. Human life is a … Continue reading “DM Processing Recent RNS Tullian Tchividjian Interview”
Repentant or Rebranding? Tullian Tchividjian in the news, again.
But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral…—not even to eat with such a person. -I Corinthians 5:11, NKJV Disgraced Pastor Tullian Tchividjian, grandson of Reverend Billy Graham, is back in the news again. This time he wrote a piece on a website … Continue reading “Repentant or Rebranding? Tullian Tchividjian in the news, again.”
Affair or Predation? On Ministerial Sexual Misconduct.
Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold. -2 Samuel 11:2, NKJV When a minister abuses his or her position to have sex with a congregant, … Continue reading “Affair or Predation? On Ministerial Sexual Misconduct.”
Yes, it CAN be that bad!
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NKJV Shock. That is a normal response to traumatic revelations. And the revelation that one’s spouse cheated and lied to cover it up certainly qualifies as a traumatic … Continue reading “Yes, it CAN be that bad!”
Don’t dig up the “bones.”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. And we do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is … Continue reading “Don’t dig up the “bones.””
Can you live with the lies?
All day long you plot destruction. Your tongue cuts like a sharp razor; you’re an expert at telling lies. You love evil more than good and lies more than truth. -Psalm 52:2-3, NLT I am a firm believer when it comes to full disclosure to the faithful spouse regarding what the cheater did. Darkness is only … Continue reading “Can you live with the lies?”
Notice how Christians expect faithful spouses to pursue but cheaters not?!
Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts…. -Hosea 2:2, KJV Have you ever noticed how quick Christians are to lay the burden of marriage restoration upon the adultery … Continue reading “Notice how Christians expect faithful spouses to pursue but cheaters not?!”
Not Funny: “I am so glad my wife puts up with me. Ha. Ha.”
Some Pharisees came to him to test him [Jesus]. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” -Matthew 19:3, NIV Jesus’ response (summarized): NO. Divorce is only permissible for sexual immorality (see Matthew 19:9). It is healthy to extend grace to our spouses for their foibles … Continue reading “Not Funny: “I am so glad my wife puts up with me. Ha. Ha.””