“Don’t you see it [the cheating] was a cry for help?! If only you had ____ (fill in favorite cheater grievance with faithful spouse) more, then I wouldn’t have cheated.” -Unfaithful spouse Using the “Cry for help” excuse for an affair–either emotional or physical–is manipulation pure and simple. The cheater is using this label to … Continue reading “The “Cry for Help” Manipulation”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Reconciling Cheaters, Better Bring Your “A” Game!
Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away. -Isaiah 50:1, KJV A cheater is not … Continue reading “Reconciling Cheaters, Better Bring Your “A” Game!”
Dumb and Dangerous Advice
“Why don’t you both take a break from each other?” -Clueless Counselor This is one of the dumbness pieces of advice given to a couple dealing with infidelity. The problems of an infidelity ravaged marriage are not solved by creating more distance and less accountability for the cheater. Both are the last things needed, actually. A break is … Continue reading “Dumb and Dangerous Advice”
If blaming…cheaters ain’t there to reconcile!
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:11-12, NIV Just because a cheater goes to couple’s therapy … Continue reading “If blaming…cheaters ain’t there to reconcile!”
DM’s first video blogging…vlogging episode
To get out the message of Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously to more people, I have started to put my thoughts down in video form. The following YouTube video is just the first teaser of what is to come in the future. Thanks to a regular reader, he has alerted me to the reality that some people … Continue reading “DM’s first video blogging…vlogging episode”
What was the most confusing thing about the experience?
What was the most confusing part of the experience? So much is confusing and difficult when discovering a spouse has been unfaithful. So called “Christian” advice to forgive and forget in an effort to “save” the marriage is a big piece that adds to the confusion of the day. Another candidate for most confusing is the … Continue reading “What was the most confusing thing about the experience?”
Jesus is madly in love with you! Believe it.
“I love Jesus. And on my good days, I actually believe He loves me, and–in fact–even enjoys my company.” -DM God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. -I John 4:16b, NIV Believing in God’s love for us is made more difficult for those who have experienced great rejection. … Continue reading “Jesus is madly in love with you! Believe it.”
Jesus did NOT quote Malachi 2:16 on divorce…
“For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel…. -Malachi 2:16a, NASB “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NASB Jesus did not quote the infamous passage from Malachi on divorce: “I [God] hate divorce.” This is an important observation … Continue reading “Jesus did NOT quote Malachi 2:16 on divorce…”
Divorce Is NOT Your End!
The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12, NIV Divorce is scary. It is made unnecessarily so–in part–by a Christian culture bent on blaming faithful spouses. Singleness is hardly an ideal state in the Christian community, and divorced singles have the added burden of dealing with the … Continue reading “Divorce Is NOT Your End!”
Faithful Spouses, On YOUR Flaws…
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. -Romans 3:23, NLT Not everyone is worthy of hearing your story, faithful spouse! A Christian who looks down upon a faithful spouse with pity thinking the faithful spouse somehow caused his or her divorce is precisely the sort of person unworthy of hearing the faithful … Continue reading “Faithful Spouses, On YOUR Flaws…”