“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Ask: Where is the loving much?”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?”
Cheater: “What went wrong between us?” Faithful Spouse: “That’s obvious: The bar trash you were banging is ‘what went wrong between us.’” The cheater-requested marriage autopsy: “What went wrong between us?” When adultery has occurred along the path to divorce, what ended the marriage ought not to be a mystery to any Bible-literate individual. God … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?””
Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.”
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. -Genesis 3:1a, NKJV “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you to your friends and family,” says the cheater. This is another tactic by the cheater to control the narrative of the marriage and manage their image. They want the … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.””
Cheater Contempt
“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” -Isaiah 35:3-4, NIV Cheater contempt. It is amazing what we, faithful spouses, are willing to tolerate. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”
On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Cheaters requesting post-divorce meetups is such a strange phenomenon to me. I know from reading others’ experiences that this is a real phenomenon. My cheater wanted to meet up after the fact (see post here). … Continue reading “On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce”
On Loving Lies
They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness. -2 Thessalonians 2:10b-12, NIV It is choice each of us … Continue reading “On Loving Lies”
Cheater-speak: “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Cheater Reason NOT to Disclose Adultery and/or Infidelity Details: “I don’t want to hurt you.” This one was an especially annoying line of reasoning. It comes packaged to faithful spouse as altruism on the cheater’s part when the reality is the cheater is refusing to disclose for his/her own selfish reasons. We do not think “altruism”–i.e. … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I don’t want to hurt you.””
Two Common Christian Mistakes
Eliphaz replying to Job– “Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed? As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.” -Job 4:7-8, NIV As I have blogged for closing on two years regarding infidelity and how Christians respond to faithful spouses, I … Continue reading “Two Common Christian Mistakes”
On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties
This time the dove returned to him in the evening with a fresh olive leaf in its beak. Then Noah knew that the floodwaters were almost gone. -Genesis 8:11, NLT Cheaters are already too central. As faithful spouses, we make them central for several very good reasons: 1) They are central because some of us … Continue reading “On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties”
Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV It is pointless to engage in “reconciliation” efforts while a partner continues cheating. You are wasting time and treasure. The worst piece of advice I got was to take my focus off … Continue reading “Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland”