Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Where are the godly divorced testimonies?
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Matthew 1:19, NIV And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; … Continue reading “Where are the godly divorced testimonies?”
Adultery is not a victimless “crime.”
You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. -Malachi 2:14, NIV By now, I bet most people have had to suffer through the public service announcement on … Continue reading “Adultery is not a victimless “crime.””
Buddy-Buddy Assumption
“Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.” -Acts 2:36, NIV (emphasis mine) Some Christians who have never experienced the very personal and humiliating betrayal of an adulterous spouse can be incredibly insensitive to those of us who have. One way this insensitivity … Continue reading “Buddy-Buddy Assumption”
Ask: Where is the loving much?
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Ask: Where is the loving much?”
Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?”
Cheater: “What went wrong between us?” Faithful Spouse: “That’s obvious: The bar trash you were banging is ‘what went wrong between us.’” The cheater-requested marriage autopsy: “What went wrong between us?” When adultery has occurred along the path to divorce, what ended the marriage ought not to be a mystery to any Bible-literate individual. God … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?””
Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.”
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. -Genesis 3:1a, NKJV “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you to your friends and family,” says the cheater. This is another tactic by the cheater to control the narrative of the marriage and manage their image. They want the … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.””
Cheater Contempt
“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” -Isaiah 35:3-4, NIV Cheater contempt. It is amazing what we, faithful spouses, are willing to tolerate. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”
On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Cheaters requesting post-divorce meetups is such a strange phenomenon to me. I know from reading others’ experiences that this is a real phenomenon. My cheater wanted to meet up after the fact (see post here). … Continue reading “On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce”
On Loving Lies
They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness. -2 Thessalonians 2:10b-12, NIV It is choice each of us … Continue reading “On Loving Lies”