Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “Never really chosen”
Category: Cheating
Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses”
Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage”
Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter … Continue reading “Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage””
Thankfully, God gets angry!
In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “Thankfully, God gets angry!”
Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!”
Damaging approaches to faithful spouses
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV How forgiving was Jesus to the Pharisees? Jesus understood that some people wanted nothing to do with his forgiveness. They were self-righteous, and in their minds, they needed none of his. This is the usual crowd of cheaters. They often behave like Pharisees. Some are especially … Continue reading “Damaging approaches to faithful spouses”
The deliberateness of cheating
People downplay the deliberateness of cheating. All sorts of language is employed to minimize what is truly something very clearly chosen by the cheater… again and again. They might call it “a mistake,” “a cry for help,” or “one night stand.” All of this is minimizing the choices that led to the infidelity plus the sinful … Continue reading “The deliberateness of cheating”
Could have gone another way!
A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation. A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way. I think it is wise to acknowledge this. Something precious was … Continue reading “Could have gone another way!”
“Friends” insisting on their “advice”
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. -Job 42:7, NIV Ever had that “friend” who got furious with you because you did not do whatever they told … Continue reading ““Friends” insisting on their “advice””
Adviser, NOT dictator!
11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. -1 Corinthians 2:11-12, NLT A good pastor understands he (or she) … Continue reading “Adviser, NOT dictator!”