Category: Cheating

Stopping the sex is NOT enough!

While it is important that the cheating stops, the damage has already been done. Stopping is not the same as repairing. I think this needs to be said. The temptation exists to ignore the damage caused by the cheating as long as “it is over.” Why? The aftermath is not pleasant. It leads to uncomfortable … Continue reading “Stopping the sex is NOT enough!”

Not a matter of marrying too young!

Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.” “Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.” -I Samuel 16:11, NLT Not much has changed in years … Continue reading “Not a matter of marrying too young!”

Hundreds of text messages are NOT innocent!

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. -John 3:21, NIV Graphic pictures of compromising behavior seems to be almost needed to convince some pastors and Christians that a spouse is violating their … Continue reading “Hundreds of text messages are NOT innocent!”

Watch out if your spouse asks for relationship “rules!”

“This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time,” declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” -Jeremiah 31:33, NIV If your spouse lacks an internal moral compass, then … Continue reading “Watch out if your spouse asks for relationship “rules!””

Friendly divorce narrative

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NIV “Yeah, we weren’t right for each other. But we are still friends,” says a divorcee. Within Christian circles, the friendly divorce seems to … Continue reading “Friendly divorce narrative”

Who is eligible for forgiveness per Jesus? The repentant.

It was also written that this message would be proclaimed in the authority of his name to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent.’ -Luke 24:47, NLT Often faithful spouses are pushed to forgive with no reference to the cheater’s repentance. As these words attributed to Jesus by … Continue reading “Who is eligible for forgiveness per Jesus? The repentant.”

Like talking about squeaky floor boards…

Cheater apologists are quick to point at the flaws in the marriage and blame the faithful spouse “for their part.” This is foolishness parading as wisdom. Sometimes metaphors help us understand how foolish some things actually are: The marriage is a house. This house has needed updates. For example, it needs new windows, a fresh … Continue reading “Like talking about squeaky floor boards…”

Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend. I can have friends, right?!!”

        Faithful Spouse: Who is he then? Cheater: A friend. Can’t I have friends? This is a common cheater ploy. They attempt to minimize the nature of their relationship with the affair partner. He (or she) is presented as “a friend.” Then they might go on the offensive accusing the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend. I can have friends, right?!!””

If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.

“If only I had learned to ____ quicker, my marriage might not have ended.” -Faithful Spouse Spinning While understandable, this sort of thinking is just another form of “The Shared Responsibility Lie.” The faithful spouse is sharing responsibility for the choices and sins of their ex-spouse. I hate to break the news, but we are … Continue reading “If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.”