“It is not adultery. We were living apart at the time,” says Cheater. A cheater trying to avoid responsibility for violating their marriage vows might attempt to use the “geography excuse.” This is the one where they excuse their behavior as “acceptable” since they were living apart from their spouse. The separation might have even … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But we were living apart then!””
Category: Cheating
Back-handed “Confession”
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” -Proverbs 29:25, NIV “I should have been more ‘honest’ with you [about your faults],” says Cheater. Back-handed Confessions I wonder how many of us endured back-handed “confessions” where our Cheater admitted to faults that were really … Continue reading “Back-handed “Confession””
The accusations are just “interesting” today.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I was helping Mrs. DM clean up our basement yesterday evening. While sorting through folders with old papers, I came across some of my notes from the time of my first marriage’s implosion. These notes outlined … Continue reading “The accusations are just “interesting” today.”
A divorced pastor is an asset.
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV A divorced pastor is an asset. Some churches … Continue reading “A divorced pastor is an asset.”
Redeemed Fiery Trials
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” -I Corinthians 13:11, NIV “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” -Popular Saying God has given us … Continue reading “Redeemed Fiery Trials”
All the counseling in the world!
But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. -I Corinthians 8:1b, NIV Knowledge is not a substitute for character. You can know all the things and still make poor choices. As a couple, you could have gone to all the wisest counselors and still ended up divorced after infidelity. Knowledge is not the same as … Continue reading “All the counseling in the world!”
In the midst
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. -Psalm 23:4-5, KJV … Continue reading “In the midst”
Sucked back into their chaos
Cheaters are “gifted” in sucking you back into their chaos. If you spent years allowing your Cheater to do what they wanted, it is hard to change that dynamic. It is difficult to stand up for oneself and hold to appropriate boundaries. They will test your boundaries. It is what they do. For example, you … Continue reading “Sucked back into their chaos”
End their centrality. Make them a footnote.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Faithful Spouses, we have a choice: Do we keep on allowing the cheater to be the central player in our life story or do we go out and take command of our story forging decisions … Continue reading “End their centrality. Make them a footnote.”
So Freaking Selfish!
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT So FREAKING Selfish! Cheaters are so very self-centered and self-serving. Even after getting caught, they will continue make choices to sooth their own desires. It is symptomatic of their sick hearts. Sometimes, it is hard to … Continue reading “So Freaking Selfish!”