I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. -Philippians 4:12b, NIV When I am tempted to spiral into resentment (or start going there), I am reminded of an important spiritual secret: Gratitude is a great antidote to resentment. … Continue reading “Contentment Secret”
Category: Cheating
Arrogant Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Arrogant Cheaters”
Not all equal
My (now) ex and I went to a couple who were lay ministers. That was a mistake (if the goal was to avoid divorce). They were well-meaning people, but they were also very wrong in assessing our situation. Instead of focusing on my ex’s need to truly repent and repair our marriage due to her … Continue reading “Not all equal”
Acting entitled to your help
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, But a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them. -Proverbs 27:3, NKJV Have you ever noticed that Cheaters can’t be bothered to help you when you need it? However, they demand that you drop everything when they “need” something from you? They are such entitled creatures. And they can be cruel about … Continue reading “Acting entitled to your help”
Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.”
“I just want open and honest communication,” says Cheater. Do Cheaters really want honesty and openness? No way! Cheating is no fun when you are faced with consequences that come with open honesty with your victim–i.e. the faithful spouse. Two-sided openness is such a drag for those committed to a lifestyle of deception. When Cheaters say that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.””
Playing Catch Up
I do not know anyone through this ministry or otherwise who was once married to a Cheater where the infidelity deception did not entail significant time–i.e. months or years. All those lies do significant damage. We, faithful spouses, are playing catch up trying to piece together what was and wasn’t true over the years. This … Continue reading “Playing Catch Up”
Family Rule: Keeping up appearances
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV Family Rule: Keep up appearances! I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, married into families where appearances were of the utmost importance. Our Cheaters were conditioned from the earliest … Continue reading “Family Rule: Keeping up appearances”
Happy July 4th Holiday!
Happy Independence Day! As faithful spouses, we can take inspiration from this day that as US citizens we recognize every year. It is a holiday that celebrates the birth of our nation. Facing a very difficult and costly decision, our Founding Fathers set pen to a document that would forever sever them from the home … Continue reading “Happy July 4th Holiday!”
“Sounds like you believe that.”
“I’m being faithful to God,” says Cheater. “Sounds like you believe that,” replies faithful spouse knowing otherwise. I don’t miss arguing over reality with my Cheater. Those were crazy-making experiences. She would attempt to force her will on me to agree to a certain narrative. It was a power struggle. I am glad those days … Continue reading ““Sounds like you believe that.””
Validation. What a gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. What a gift!”