Category: Emotional Affair

Never mention it again?!

“You shouldn’t mention the cheating again. Didn’t you already say you forgave him?!” -Clueless “Christian” Counselor Forgiveness does not erase the impact of the sin(s). If you have a pastor or “Christian” counselor pressuring you, faithful spouse, to never mention the cheating again, you need to find a better counselor/spiritual guide. They are clueless. Recovering from … Continue reading “Never mention it again?!”

PSA: We call those “affair partners.”

Public Service Announcement: We call thEM “AFFAIR PARTNERS.” Cheaters seem to need help. They struggle mightily in labeling their relationships appropriately. Too often, they confuse “affair partners” with “friends.” And they think everyone–maybe especially the faithful spouse–are dumb enough not to know the difference. Some of this is just playing dumb. Some of this is … Continue reading “PSA: We call those “affair partners.””

“I do understand. That is why we are divorced.”

Cheater: “If only you understood me, you wouldn’t judge me so harshly.” Faithful Spouse: “I DO understand. That is why we are divorced.” A failure to understand is not why divorce is often the best of bad options in dealing with a harden cheater. Please do not waste your time sticking your head into that … Continue reading ““I do understand. That is why we are divorced.””

When Your Cheater Is Eager To Attend “Counseling”

Just because a cheater agrees–and is even eager–to attend couple’s counseling with a therapist or pastor does not mean the cheater is interested in working on themselves. In fact, I would pay attention to how eager the cheater is to attend the counseling session. It might seem counter-intuitive but over-eagerness to attend the couple’s counseling … Continue reading “When Your Cheater Is Eager To Attend “Counseling””

Thoughts on Forgiveness

Recently, I came across a blog post on my social media feed. It is found on Dr. Henry Cloud’s website teaching boundaries. The way the author–Dr. Cloud?–frames forgiveness is helpful. The article is entitled, “Just Because You Forgive, it Doesn’t Mean You Have to Trust Again.”  Three important points are laid out as follows, 1. Forgiveness … Continue reading “Thoughts on Forgiveness”

When the choice to divorce wasn’t yours…

When the choice wasn’t yours, you may still have people asking and blaming you for it. Such blaming is not biblical! Scripture is clear that we are responsible for our own actions and sins (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). We do not answer for another’s. It is a good way to go crazy trying to mind-read … Continue reading “When the choice to divorce wasn’t yours…”

Sin is sin. But what about justice and commonsense?

“Sin is sin.” – Christian Minimizing Adultery This is a saying that cheater apologists use to guilt faithful spouses into taking back their cheater. It is a minimization of adultery. Saying, “Sin is sin” is as stupid as saying, “A crime is a crime” then suggesting we should put speeders on the electric chair just … Continue reading “Sin is sin. But what about justice and commonsense?”

THAT “friend”

After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me….” -Job 42:7a, NLT THAT “friend” said all sort of things to you…inaccurate about God (and you) like Job’s friends. Sometimes this is done out of ignorance. … Continue reading “THAT “friend””

Happy Reformation Day! 500 Year Anniversary.

“Here I stand; I can do no other.” – Martin Luther On this day five hundred years ago, Martin Luther famously nailed his 95 theses to the doors of Wittenberg church. Many mark this as the beginning of the Protestant Reformation(s). One man and his sincerely held convictions transformed the world. October 31st, 1517 was … Continue reading “Happy Reformation Day! 500 Year Anniversary.”