“Here I stand; I can do no other.” – Martin Luther On this day five hundred years ago, Martin Luther famously nailed his 95 theses to the doors of Wittenberg church. Many mark this as the beginning of the Protestant Reformation(s). One man and his sincerely held convictions transformed the world. October 31st, 1517 was … Continue reading “Happy Reformation Day! 500 Year Anniversary.”
Category: Emotional Affair
God does NOT think…
I am convinced God does NOT think… …you are responsible for your ex-spouse cheating on you and discarding you. God is just. God holds the actor responsible for the actions he or she did, not their victim (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). No matter what your cheater or even a pastor might say, God does not … Continue reading “God does NOT think…”
Forget the Script! Burn it.
The Christian family script that I was taught as a teenager goes something like this: Meet a Christian. Marry a Christian. Have children and build a life together ,forever. Then you will be blessed and considered wonderful by church folks. But that script is out of the reach of many faithful Christians. In fact, it … Continue reading “Forget the Script! Burn it.”
Not a communication problem. A SIN problem.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV And Jesus replied: “‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely.” -Mathew 19:18, NLT A running “joke” among marriage therapists I understand is that every issue is a communication issue among couples. I disagree. Adultery is not a communication … Continue reading “Not a communication problem. A SIN problem.”
Therapy alone, a good marriage does NOT make!
If attending pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and individual therapy could make a good marriage, then my first marriage ought to have been amazing. It wasn’t. Instead, my current marriage with Mrs. DM–where we have attended nearly zero therapy sessions together–is thriving. Attending therapy does not make a good marriage. Other elements are far more important … Continue reading “Therapy alone, a good marriage does NOT make!”
“Do you hear yourself, cheater?”
“Do you hear yourself? That is what we call making excuses.” -Wise Pastor to Cheater Labeling matters appropriately does not only help the cheater, but it also helps their victim, the faithful spouse. Proper labels expose the deeds of the dark to light (see Ephesians 5:11). It is astounding to me how so-called Christian pastors … Continue reading ““Do you hear yourself, cheater?””
Possible. But likely? Doubt it.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible. But likely? Doubt it.”
Not responsible. Really.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. -James 1:14-15a, NLT (Emphasis mine) When seeking to retain my minister’s license, I was asked to explain what led to the breakdown of my marriage. To actually quote from the now defunct policy: “In your opinion, … Continue reading “Not responsible. Really.”
Lame Point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a … Continue reading “Lame Point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.”
Conversion of Convenience
DM, One thing that I ran into while going to a Christian therapist was the Once Saved Always Saved teachings. I was told that since my “Christian X” refused repentance, restitution, and reconciliation that he was clearly never a Christian. Therefore, X doesn’t ever have to do the “three R’s”, he just needs to really … Continue reading “Conversion of Convenience”