To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV Not every battle is worth fighting with a disordered individual. Not every bridge is worth maintaining. Some battles are best left alone. Some bridges are best burned. There is a season for everything. Many of us are not inclined to fight. … Continue reading “Choosing battles and bridges to burn”
Category: Emotional Affair
A most reasonable expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “A most reasonable expectation”
“Have you rebuked her?”
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading ““Have you rebuked her?””
Why bother to blame?
“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Why bother to blame?”
Divorce needs to be a real option!
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Divorce needs to be a real option!”
A mismatch
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “A mismatch”
NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine”
“That’s not a friend.”
“That’s not a friend,” says Father Terry. My divorce was fresh. Maybe I was still in the separation period. I am not sure. What I remember is talking with a colleague and mentor, Father Terry, who shared some simply but profound wisdom. After telling him about a “friend” who had essentially called me a deadbeat … Continue reading ““That’s not a friend.””
Dear 30 Year Old Self…
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear 30 Year Old Self…”
Too full of themselves
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. -Proverbs 26:12, NKJV Probably, the most spiritually deadly sin is arrogance. Cheaters are marked by oodles and oodles of pride and arrogance. It takes quite a bit of arrogance to cheat on your spouse and still think you … Continue reading “Too full of themselves”