My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NIV The pain will pass. I know this is cold comfort in the middle of your pain. It is hard to think of a new world without your spouse and losing everything that … Continue reading “The pain WILL pass!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Effort Involved
She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “Effort Involved”
Cheater labels you “the problem”
When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheater labels you “the problem””
World Blown Apart
World Blown Apart Discovering marital infidelity is a discovery that blows apart one’s world. It upends the assumptions of safety one oriented life around. No longer can you trust your most intimate partner for anything. They have harmed you in deep ways that only they could. Such a betrayal! It is disorienting. What is my … Continue reading “World Blown Apart”
Probably already smeared
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV Probably Already Smeared When Cheaters ask you not to say anything to others about their cheating, do not be naïve about them. They probably have already smeared your name with your mutual “friends” and family. What … Continue reading “Probably already smeared”
Silence is not the same thing as forgiveness
“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Silence is not the same thing as forgiveness”
Displaced Pain
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV Displaced Pain I suspect many of our Cheaters are dealing with some sort of pain in their lives. They may use their pain as excuse to engage in destructive behaviors of all sorts. Sadly, faithful spouses are impacted by their poor copping mechanisms. Just because your Cheater … Continue reading “Displaced Pain”
Facing difficult truths
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Facing difficult truths”
Attention Addiction
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Attention Addiction”
Adultery as an escape
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Some Cheaters “escape” the mundane issues of their lives into a fantasy world with their affair partner(s). You can never compete with this as the adulterous relationship is based on a fantasy–and not the reality of … Continue reading “Adultery as an escape”