Category: Emotional Affair

I discourage dating while still married.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “I discourage dating while still married.”

A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them

“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them”

The greatest virtue deficit for cheaters

 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud     but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -James 4:6-7, NLT PRIDE… …is the greatest–and spiritually deadliest–cheater vice. Pride says, “I will never get caught.” Pride says, “I deserve to be ‘happy.’” … Continue reading “The greatest virtue deficit for cheaters”

“Failed Marriage” label issues

Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice when “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” label issues”

It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!

But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NLT Faithful spouse, you are free to choose divorce over staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. This is what I see … Continue reading “It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!”

Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!”

Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!””

It takes effort to deceive.

She hides and waits like a robber,     eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “It takes effort to deceive.”

You will always be treated as “The Problem.”

When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “You will always be treated as “The Problem.””

Cheater-Speak: “He has nothing to do with our marriage problems.”

“He has nothing to do with our marriage problems. You know that!” -Caught Cheater If your cheater is responding with some version of this, your marriage is over. The cheater is refusing to face the fact that adultery is truly a MAJOR marriage problem. You have nothing to work with here. The cheater is firmly … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “He has nothing to do with our marriage problems.””