“I don’t love you anymore.” “I feel like we are just roommates.” “I need space.” Have you heard any of these “gems” come out of your cheater’s mouth? Maybe they spoke such words before you knew they were cheating on you? That would make sense. As these words are designed to hide their dastardly behavior … Continue reading “Cheater lines…”
Category: Emotional Affair
A Holy Saturday sort of feel!
At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. -John 19:41-42, NIV When dealing with a cheater and the devastation wrought by their … Continue reading “A Holy Saturday sort of feel!”
False hope feeding
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False hope feeding”
Forgiven, yet not?
Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. -I Peter 3:18a, NLT You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven. This is a paradoxical truth about forgiveness. Both are true. You have truly forgiven your cheater. However, … Continue reading “Forgiven, yet not?”
Foolish people
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NLT In my season of suffering, I found some people simply do not want to hear my pain. They didn’t want to understand. These people were set in their beliefs about divorce. They were happy to share their judgment … Continue reading “Foolish people”
PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!
When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes, And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB Public Service Announcement (PSA): When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with … Continue reading “PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!”
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!”
Never really chosen
Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “Never really chosen”
Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses”
Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage”
Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter … Continue reading “Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage””