Speaking to myself three years ago: “I know you want your marriage to survive your spouse’s infidelity… …but the fate of your marriage does not hinge on your decision(s).” When my marriage unraveled and I discovered the Other Man, I wanted so badly for my (then) wife to repent of her unfaithfulness and stop the divorce … Continue reading “I know you want your marriage to survive this…”
Category: Grief
Adult Children of Divorce
When I preached a few weeks back on divorce, someone came to me after the sermon asking for resources for adult children of divorce. I did not have much to offer as I am unaware of much for that demographic. It is symptomatic of how adultery and divorce remain viewed as an issue only … Continue reading “Adult Children of Divorce”
Silver Lining of Ashley Madison Hack
While I do not condone the hacking of a business website–it is wrong and criminal–I am appreciative of the what has happened since the publication of Ashley Madison data. Call it a silver-lining: 1. Victims of deception and cheating became empowered by knowledge. I am not of the camp that considers the cheaters victims … Continue reading “Silver Lining of Ashley Madison Hack”
Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. – Job 2:13, NLT Adultery effects more than just the couple. So does divorce. After preaching, I was pulled aside and asked about … Continue reading “Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief”
The Heart Knows…
The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. – Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), French Philosopher, Thoughts, #277 It was three years ago this past Monday… ….when I was served the divorce papers by a marshal on my way to celebrate my graduation from my very first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). That day seems … Continue reading “The Heart Knows…”
“I care about you…”
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you but not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading ““I care about you…””
When you know enough…
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. – John 3:19, KJV In the early stages of discovery, I can remember being downright obsessive in trying to find out the facts. It was all-consuming for a good deal of … Continue reading “When you know enough…”
When Kids Are Involved…
Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them; And then the Lord‘s wrath be kindled against you…. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, … Continue reading “When Kids Are Involved…”
Celebrating Father’s Day…It’s complicated
“Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good … Continue reading “Celebrating Father’s Day…It’s complicated”
Surreal
This weekend happens to be my ten-year college reunion. I went to an elite liberal arts college in the Midwestern part of the United States. We take our reunions seriously as the college had a way for forging lifelong relationships during those short four years together. Back then the community was small and tight. That … Continue reading “Surreal”