“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. -Malachi 2:16a, NKJV If an evangelical pastor talks about divorce, he usually references this verse out of context. Like a club, it is used to keep people from **gasp!** divorcing. It does not work. And it has … Continue reading “Unseen = Faithful spouses when pastors talk about divorce.”
Category: Sin
Lying Label: “Exit Affairs”
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV What I find especially troubling is how some people will call some affairs … Continue reading “Lying Label: “Exit Affairs””
When “good” is NOT an option for us
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV What drives me nuts about how some pastors speak of divorce is how they assume a “good” option is left on the table for a faithful spouse. Sadly, following infidelity this just isn’t the case! The faithful … Continue reading “When “good” is NOT an option for us”
Impulsive one?! Really?!
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce…. -Jeremiah 3:8a, KJV What I find curious in cases with adultery is how the Christian community is so quick to press against the faithful spouse choosing divorce as if this … Continue reading “Impulsive one?! Really?!”
You are NOT the Savior!
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. -John 3:17, KJV Jesus is the only One who is able to save someone spiritually. How well or poorly we respond to discovering infidelity ought never to be construed as causing the cheater … Continue reading “You are NOT the Savior!”
Love is more than a word. Look for fruit.
A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. …Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. -Matthew 7:17, 20, NLT When talking about love, I would suggest one looks at actions and not just words. Cheaters will say all … Continue reading “Love is more than a word. Look for fruit.”
Cheater-Speak: “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You got to understand that I never wanted to hurt you.” -Cheater Why would a cheater tell their spouse that they never wanted or intended to hurt them? I think this is all about protecting themselves. The cheater is attempting to protect themselves from the reality of what they did. By attempting to get agreement … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never wanted to hurt you.””
Congratulations and clear-sighted thinking
When my divorce was finalized, my divorce lawyer congratulated me. I did not feel very celebratory in that moment. To be honest, I was still hoping for a miracle in the last hour. The divorce finalizing activated just another level of grief for me. It was real. That was a tough moment. I have no … Continue reading “Congratulations and clear-sighted thinking”
Religion of resurrection
He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. -Matthew 28:6, KJV Today, we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus. It is Easter Sunday. Christianity is a religion centered around resurrection. Without the resurrection, we have no hope. This is why this is the … Continue reading “Religion of resurrection”
Goal: Personal growth or blame acceptance (by the faithful party)?
And he said, “That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” – Mark 7:20-23, KJV, (emphasis mine) When … Continue reading “Goal: Personal growth or blame acceptance (by the faithful party)?”