For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV Repenting of sins committed against us makes no sense! Yet this is the standard counsel given to … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: NOT your mess!!!”
Category: Sin
Dear DM, I don’t know how to fix this.
Good afternoon, Obviously you deal with complicated situations so I’m just going to assume you can read between the lines and understand this marriage of mine with the details I give. So. Here we are. We’re married under the worldly courts AND covenant agreements. We have two children 3 mnths and 1 yr and 4 … Continue reading “Dear DM, I don’t know how to fix this.”
Life pressures and the sin of cheating
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders…. -Mark 7:21, KJV When the Jesus talks about sin here, he is very clear about its origin. Sin proceeds–i.e. originates–from the heart of the sinner. This is basic theology. I am saddened by how so many pastors and Christian counselors … Continue reading “Life pressures and the sin of cheating”
The goal is peace, NOT friendship!
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18, NIV Notice what this verse does and does NOT say: 1. It does NOT say–or set the expectation–that we are friends with everyone. 2. It DOES say–i.e. acknowledges–that peace with some people is impossible. These are very important … Continue reading “The goal is peace, NOT friendship!”
Annoying advice about “owning your part” to avoid “bitterness”
The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. -Ezekiel 18:20, KJV Some Christians think talking about “your … Continue reading “Annoying advice about “owning your part” to avoid “bitterness””
I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. -Romans 12:14, NIV Pray for your abuser? Pray for your cheater? This is common advice given in Christian circles. I am not completely sure that it is good advice. That is just my opinion. I find the verse above has a context of speaking about … Continue reading “I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.”
On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness”
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be … Continue reading “On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness””
Better days ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better days ahead!”
Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?
Anyone else here given a label by a counselor identifying YOU as the marriage problem? This assumes the cheater comes to counseling. Some don’t. A problem with counselors is that some are not up on the games cheaters play. They become complicit in the act of keeping the faithful spouse off the scent of what … Continue reading “Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?”
Is that love? No. It is not.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Is this love? Lying to, abusing, stealing, and otherwise risking the well-being of another. Of course, not. This … Continue reading “Is that love? No. It is not.”