Emotional wounds are the longest to heal.

Probably the hardest part of healing from a divorce from a cheater are the lingering emotional wounds from that marriage. You have to find a way to ground yourself in reality. This reality is a reality NOT defined by the cheater or her people. It is reality, in other words. That is hard to do when you … Continue reading “Emotional wounds are the longest to heal.”

On treating cheating as an unimportant detail regarding the divorce.

“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating cheating as an unimportant detail regarding the divorce.”

Season for EVERYTHING? Divorce, included?

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Do we really believe this Bible verse? If we do, I suggest “everything” includes a time for divorce. It may not be the best of all options–just as making war is not better than peace–yet like war, it … Continue reading “Season for EVERYTHING? Divorce, included?”

CHEATERS are the ones treating marriage as disposable!!!

Christian leaders seem to worry that allowing any divorce is to open the flood gates to every divorce. The idea is permitting divorce necessarily means taking a disposable stance towards the covenant of marriage. This is just not so. God does not take marriage lightly, and yet He is described in the Bible as divorcing Israel: And I saw, … Continue reading “CHEATERS are the ones treating marriage as disposable!!!”

Public Service Announcement: NOT your mess!!!

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV Repenting of sins committed against us makes no sense! Yet this is the standard counsel given to … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: NOT your mess!!!”

Dear DM, I don’t know how to fix this.

Good afternoon, Obviously you deal with complicated situations so I’m just going to assume you can read between the lines and understand this marriage of mine with the details I give. So. Here we are. We’re married under the worldly courts AND covenant agreements. We have two children 3 mnths and 1 yr and 4 … Continue reading “Dear DM, I don’t know how to fix this.”