“’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading “Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee”
Category: Sin
Prideful Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of Cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A Cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Prideful Cheaters”
The Discard Narrative
The Discard Narrative Cheaters are adept at crafting narratives to suit their nefarious purposes. They tell others and themselves all sort of wicked things about their faithful spouse while trying to keep their mark–i.e. the faithful spouse–off the scent of their infidelities. When faced with counterfactual information, they will dismiss those facts about their faithful … Continue reading “The Discard Narrative”
Sinning (ex) in-laws
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NLT I wonder how many of us had interfering in-laws in our marriages that ended with our Cheater. Instead of instructing their own child in the ways of the Lord, they tried to control their son … Continue reading “Sinning (ex) in-laws”
Messing with definitions
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters–aka Messing with Definitions I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with … Continue reading “Messing with definitions”
Cheater planned deception
17 “I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. 19 For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey….” -Proverbs 7:17-19, NKJV Unless your Cheater told you the day of the “deed,” you can be … Continue reading “Cheater planned deception”
I do NOT hate divorce!
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” -Malachi 2:16, NLT “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of … Continue reading “I do NOT hate divorce!”
Time for love AND hate!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: … a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8, NIV Did you know the Bible tells us a time exists to hate? So, this means hate is not … Continue reading “Time for love AND hate!”
Others’ disbelief is unhelpful
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Others’ disbelief is unhelpful”
Healing Validation
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”