“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV It is pointless to engage in “reconciliation” efforts while a partner continues cheating. You are wasting time and treasure. The worst piece of advice I got was to take my focus off … Continue reading “On leaving open the door to “Romantic Fantasy Land””
Category: Sin
Healing DOES come!
Today, I received a simple junk-mail in my inbox. It was forwarded to me from my ex-wife. In the past, such an email would have triggered a “flight” response in my body as I felt my chest-tighten in panic. It didn’t elicit that sort of response in me this time. This tells me something: Healing … Continue reading “Healing DOES come!”
Grounded in Christ’s Love
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:17b-19, NIV Do … Continue reading “Grounded in Christ’s Love”
You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven.
Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. -I Peter 3:18a, NLT You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven. This is a paradoxical truth about forgiveness. Both are true. You have truly forgiven your cheater. However, … Continue reading “You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven.”
Encountering any foolish “friends?”
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NLT In my season of suffering, I found some people simply do not want to hear my pain. They didn’t want to understand. These people were set in their beliefs about divorce. They were happy to share their judgment … Continue reading “Encountering any foolish “friends?””
Contempt signals, “It’s over!”
When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes,And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with the cheater where they express … Continue reading “Contempt signals, “It’s over!””
Lectured by a cheater
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12, NIV Ever notice how quick the cheater is to talk about what “you owe” them?! The last thing they want to do is face the mirror and see their own shortcomings. In … Continue reading “Lectured by a cheater”
Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. The assumption here is the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends. I say lie because telling these friends a different reason than the infidelity being behind the divorce (or severe marriage struggles) is a … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.””
Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims
So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is … Continue reading “Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims”
Extreme Fidelity
The common counsel about rebuilding infidelity ravaged marriages is to look to unmet needs. This is hogwash! Just consider all the “unmet” needs of spouses over generations. If “unmet needs” is what causes infidelity, then all those marriages ought have been infidelity riddled…but they weren’t. The Bible is crystal clear that sin arises out of … Continue reading “Extreme Fidelity”