“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. And maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “The “Model Divorced””
Category: Sin
Prospering Cheater Envy
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this verse … Continue reading “Prospering Cheater Envy”
Cheater-speak: “Telling him would be selfish.”
“Telling him would be selfish. That would ruin our marriage.” – Cheater What a twisted lie people tell themselves and others! Think if we applied this lie to a different situation: Someone embezzles tens of thousands from your friend’s retirement account. They are a “good” criminal and know how to hide the theft. Would … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Telling him would be selfish.””
Clueless Christian: “What did you learn?”
“I’ll tell you by what authority I do these things if you answer one question,” Jesus replied. -Mark 11:29, NLT “What did you learn about yourself from your divorce?” – Clueless Christian (asking Faithful Spouse) Context matters. I have no problem asking honest questions coming from a humble or genuine place of interest. What I … Continue reading “Clueless Christian: “What did you learn?””
Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces”
Not about the things, yet …
A practical reality of divorce is the necessity to divide up the marital “assets.” It is “just” things. Yet so much more… Now, I will confess that I am a bit sentimental about things. It is a “real” danger that I would become a cat hoarder in my old age left to my own devices. … Continue reading “Not about the things, yet …”
Grieve the death
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Grieve the death”
When a business partnership ends…
When a business partnership ends, we do not necessarily assume one party is punishing the other. Now, I believe marriage is much more than a business partnership or general contract. It is a covenant. However, I do think it is helpful to think about the two together. It is helpful to correct thinking that choosing … Continue reading “When a business partnership ends…”
Cheater-Speak: “You never…. You never….”
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. – I Corinthians 14:33, KJV “You never ___ [fill in favorite grievance].” -Cheater When you hear something repeated enough times, it is hard to shake its message. You may know the statement to be false. In fact, … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “You never…. You never….””
God forgives me. Really?!
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me,” says “Christian” Cheater. “Really?! What work have … Continue reading “God forgives me. Really?!”