PSA: Not Your Mess To Fix

Dear faithful spouse, It is not your job to fix the marriage mess caused by your adulterous spouse’s infidelity. You did not create this mess. And you are not even a little responsible for his/her sin. It flowed out of his/her heart alone as Scripture teaches (see post here). The adultery and subsequent consequences (like … Continue reading “PSA: Not Your Mess To Fix”

The Adultery Partner

At the window of my house     I looked down through the lattice. I saw among the simple,     I noticed among the young men,     a youth who had no sense. -Proverbs 7:6-7, NIV Such are the words that describe the Other Man (OM) who is pulled into committing adultery with a brazen adulteress in this chapter … Continue reading “The Adultery Partner”

“Can’t I have friends?!”`

“Can’t I have friends?!” says the cheater with exasperation. This is what is known in philosophy as the “Loaded Question Fallacy.” It is an error in reasoning where you cannot answer such questions without ending up in a bad place. Such is like the classical “Loaded Question” example of “When will you stop beating your … Continue reading ““Can’t I have friends?!”`”

My God Is Passionate!

 In my distress I called upon the Lord;     to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice,     and my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth reeled and rocked;     the foundations also of the mountains trembled     and quaked, because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, ESV I write this … Continue reading “My God Is Passionate!”

God Hates Adultery More Than He Hates Divorce!

“I have seen your abominations,     your adulteries and neighings, your lewd whorings,     on the hills in the field. Woe to you, O Jerusalem!     How long will it be before you are made clean?” -Jeremiah 13:27, ESV God Hates Adultery More Than He Hates Divorce. This is my response to Christian counselors and pastors who trot … Continue reading “God Hates Adultery More Than He Hates Divorce!”

Worst Piece of Advice Given

“Contend with your mother, contend, For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband; And let her put away her harlotry from her face And her adultery from between her breasts…“ -Hosea 2:2, NASB   While I do not mind the end result–the merciful divorce paving the way to my marriage to Mrs. DM–I am … Continue reading “Worst Piece of Advice Given”

Brokenness Sin Origin False Narrative

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. – Genesis 3:6, NKJV “Can’t you see he only did … Continue reading “Brokenness Sin Origin False Narrative”

My Thoughts On OW Pastoral Exchange On RELEVANT Magazine Online

A few months back, an article appeared in a cutting-edge, evangelical Christian magazine. This article was inspired by a write-in request from a woman, Laurie, who was both the divorced faithful spouse and later the other woman in an adulterous relationship with a married man. She was writing into the magazine for advice how to … Continue reading “My Thoughts On OW Pastoral Exchange On RELEVANT Magazine Online”

Being Abandoned And Still Shamed for the Divorce

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” – Malachi 2:16, ESV Some of us have had the double-whammy of having our former spouse both … Continue reading “Being Abandoned And Still Shamed for the Divorce”

Dear Divorce Minister…Please help me to create some clarity in this mess.

Dear Divorce Minister,   I moved to Africa 8 years ago to join my African husband (married 6 yrs, no children). There was no way he would have moved in my direction as he was passionate about his job in Africa. I accepted that and gave up my job, house & country with friends and … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister…Please help me to create some clarity in this mess.”