“I only cheated to get your attention,” says Cheater. Cheaters who say this are shifting blame onto their victims for their abusive sins. It is wicked. I could get your attention by shooting you in the foot. Saying I did this to get your attention does not excuse this behavior or make it acceptable in … Continue reading “Not a legitimate way to bring up issues!”
Category: Sin
Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! This leveling of offenses is called “sin-leveling” where someone treats … Continue reading “Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame”
Oddly, MORE Qualified!
8 I gave Israel their letter of divorce. I sent them away because they were unfaithful to me so many times. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NIRV Oddly, MORE Qualified Than Less! I just want to point out how pastors who have experienced divorce from an unfaithful spouse may be MORE qualified rather than LESS. Besides the pastoral care … Continue reading “Oddly, MORE Qualified!”
Blind to divorce prejudice
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV “Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the … Continue reading “Blind to divorce prejudice”
Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?”
True god of some Cheaters
21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matthew 6:21, NIV 24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. -Matthew 6:24, NLT “Mine, mine, mine!” cries … Continue reading “True god of some Cheaters”
Important to have validation
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Important to have validation”
Shake off your Cheater’s dust!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shake off your Cheater’s dust!”
Tenaciously holding on to truth
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32, NIV Regardless of how we feel or what other people–including professionals–say, we did not “make” them cheat and thereby abuse us. This is an important truth to hold on to through this dark season. We are not responsible for another’s … Continue reading “Tenaciously holding on to truth”
Need accountability, not ego-strokes!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their special-ness. They do NOT need ego-strokes. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind … Continue reading “Need accountability, not ego-strokes!”