Grief hurts. It surprises even years after the loss. You might think you have “dealt with that” only to discover feelings ambush you at some surprise moment. Our culture does not do grief well. Churches can be especially bad on this number. This is particularly true as it comes to the grief associated with a … Continue reading “The grief can be complicated.”
Category: Sin
It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NLT Faithful spouse, you are free to choose divorce over staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. This is what I see … Continue reading “It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!”
Restitution is a true sorry.
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT Sorry is a beginning. A true sorry is one backed by actions demonstrating an effort to … Continue reading “Restitution is a true sorry.”
Repentance is key to godly forgiveness
“4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” -Luke 13:4-5, KJV Repentance is clearly assumed as necessary before forgiveness and salvation according to Jesus’ … Continue reading “Repentance is key to godly forgiveness”
It takes effort to deceive.
She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “It takes effort to deceive.”
You will always be treated as “The Problem.”
When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “You will always be treated as “The Problem.””
Strong medicine!
“Nice” does not work with someone who has doubled down on destruction. If someone is about to run off a cliff, we don’t worry about saying a “harsh” word but rather–those who care–shout to get them to stop running. That is loving. Quietly objecting is not. Someone who is cheating is stuck on the short-term. … Continue reading “Strong medicine!”
Pushing Soul Rape Victims Back To the Perpetrators
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” … Continue reading “Pushing Soul Rape Victims Back To the Perpetrators”
Hope, anger, and courage quote
I ran across this quote attributed to Augustine the other day as I was reading about dealing with serial bullies (in Free Us From Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being Nice by Paul Coughlin). This quote struck me as very applicable to situations dealing with a cheater. These two things are good and “beautiful daughters” in such … Continue reading “Hope, anger, and courage quote”
No shame. Divorce is acceptable in dealing with marital, sexual immorality.
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV I do not see a time limit set on these words. The exemption is there for anyone who has a spouse that engaged in sexually unfaithful behavior. That is what I see in … Continue reading “No shame. Divorce is acceptable in dealing with marital, sexual immorality.”