It is no longer a matter of speculation: Your spouse has admitted to cheating. Besides you have the evidence of this awful truth going back months–or even years–in your hands. The world has stopped, and you are in shock. You think, “This sort of thing happens to other people. Not us!” How might a pastor help … Continue reading “Pastor to Faithful Spouse”
Category: Theology of divorce
Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NIV I made an honest mistake when my marriage started to unravel: My mistake was to open and share my heart to the father of my (now) ex-wife. It was an honest mistake in that I … Continue reading “Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!”
Cheater-speak: “I believe it was always a lie.”
“I’ve come to realization that our marriage has always been a lie.” – Cheater This sort of statement serves the cheater on multiple fronts: First, it allows him or her to cast themselves as the noble person who is choosing “authenticity” by ending the marriage. They are the “hero” bravely fighting off “inauthenticity” by exiting … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I believe it was always a lie.””
When it is not up to you…
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV An injustice faithful spouses experience when divorce is on the table is being blamed for … Continue reading “When it is not up to you…”
Privileged To Be In Pastor’s Office And NOT Court Room!
This is what the Lord says: “Was your mother sent away because I divorced her? Did I sell you as slaves to my creditors? No, you were sold because of your sins. And your mother, too, was taken because of your sins. -Isaiah 50:1, NLT A major reason cheaters feel entitled to put faithful spouses … Continue reading “Privileged To Be In Pastor’s Office And NOT Court Room!”
Entitled and Arrogant!
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore … Continue reading “Entitled and Arrogant!”
Holding The Tension On Divorce
To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the devious you show yourself shrewd. You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. -Psalm 18:25-27, NIV A tension is present when it comes to the question … Continue reading “Holding The Tension On Divorce”
Keeping Your Vow Is Your Job And Not Another’s!
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless … who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind…. -Psalm 15:1-2a,4b, NIV I just do not get the counseling world and the fascination in making faithful spouses responsible for … Continue reading “Keeping Your Vow Is Your Job And Not Another’s!”
Really?! Dr. Gary Chapman On Cheaters.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! I Corinthians 6:15, NIV When I was going through my separation prior to divorce, I read many books in my desperation to “save” my marriage. One of those … Continue reading “Really?! Dr. Gary Chapman On Cheaters.”
False Spiritual Safety
“Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?’ And then will I profess unto them, ‘I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.’” -Matthew 7:22-23, KJV (quotation marks … Continue reading “False Spiritual Safety”