Cheater: “What went wrong between us?” Faithful Spouse: “That’s obvious: The bar trash you were banging is ‘what went wrong between us.’” The cheater-requested marriage autopsy: “What went wrong between us?” When adultery has occurred along the path to divorce, what ended the marriage ought not to be a mystery to any Bible-literate individual. God … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?””
Category: Theology of divorce
On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Cheaters requesting post-divorce meetups is such a strange phenomenon to me. I know from reading others’ experiences that this is a real phenomenon. My cheater wanted to meet up after the fact (see post here). … Continue reading “On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce”
A Shotgun Wasn’t There!
Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. -Matthew 5:37, NLT When cheaters talk about being “trapped” in their marriage, I have little sympathy. Of course, I am willing to grant that they are experiencing “trapped” feelings. But to suggest the faithful spouse is the cause of … Continue reading “A Shotgun Wasn’t There!”
On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties
This time the dove returned to him in the evening with a fresh olive leaf in its beak. Then Noah knew that the floodwaters were almost gone. -Genesis 8:11, NLT Cheaters are already too central. As faithful spouses, we make them central for several very good reasons: 1) They are central because some of us … Continue reading “On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties”
Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV It is pointless to engage in “reconciliation” efforts while a partner continues cheating. You are wasting time and treasure. The worst piece of advice I got was to take my focus off … Continue reading “Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland”
“The Sin of Divorce” Language
“The Sin of Divorce” Language matters. Distinctions matter. Context matters. All of these are reasons for why I dislike the phrase “the sin of divorce.” It fails theologically and pastorally on many levels. My hope is that those who teach on divorce in the church stop using it altogether. The biggest issue I have with … Continue reading ““The Sin of Divorce” Language”
Easter-Death Is NOT The End!
“He is not here; he has risen!” -Luke 24:6a, NIV Today, we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave. It is Resurrection Sunday. One lesson from Resurrection Sunday is that death is not the end. It is merely the beginning of life for those who are in Christ. Sin and death do not get the last … Continue reading “Easter-Death Is NOT The End!”
A Picture Of Repentance From Jonah
7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “A Picture Of Repentance From Jonah”
Forgiving My Ex
PRACTICAL APPLICATION: Yesterday’s passage (John 20:21-23) and post has led me to rethink the question of whether or not I have forgiven my ex-wife. When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license, this was one of the questions being asked of me. Namely, they asked me if I had forgiven my … Continue reading “Forgiving My Ex”
Clergy: To marry an adulterous couple or not?
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin…or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat … Continue reading “Clergy: To marry an adulterous couple or not?”